hand's off the chillin's

I don't consider myself to be the most paranoid of mothers/human beings walking around this earth. You want a worrier with a dash of paranoia? Let me introduce you to my mother. If you have a problem nagging you in your life, let my mom worry about it for you but I'm going to have to charge you a small fee. Worrying doesn't come cheap, besides my mother worries enough about my family and I wouldn't want to tax her too much with others demands (sorry, Mom. We both know the limitless bounds of your constant fretting.)

I bring up this subject because I do have a SLIGHT problem with worrying. I have a tendency to worry about all the trash and how will it take care of itself? I worry about the what ifs of freak traffic accidents, nuclear war, illusive illnesses (I swear! I have Cancer every day) and the scenario of my husband marrying that DAMN!!! Japanese foreign exchange student who will forever be my husband's little concubine if I were to die (DAMN!!! that freaky dream I had while pregnant with Celia. I'm STILL not over this prophetic dream, 5.5 years later!)

I try not to be overly protective and worry about strange people coming in our house in the middle of the night to take my girls out of their sweet slumbering beds. IT COULD HAPPEN! This is why I double check the locks on the windows and our alarm system every hour or so. Who cares if we don't EVER open our windows. I don't find my double-checking behavior obsessive, what-so-ever! I would call this behavior - being cautious.

Anyway, today, I brought the kids with me to our local Kinko's to copy crap for a family friend. Upon entering, I was accosting by a woman, trying to assess my every need. Moira had already introduced herself as, "Hi! I'm Moira *****, Ariel, Princess, Beautiful! I hurt my thumb on a treadmill and it hurt really badly!" The woman who happened to sport a mighty fine 70's 'do, was completely enamored by my kids. So, much so, after asking their names (Yes, I stupidly, gave her their info complete with their social security numbers), she whisked Moira away on her hip, introducing her to patrons who could give a shit. With one eye permanently affixed to the side of my head, I continued trimming the massive amount of maps at hand, while praying to God, this chick who already admitted to replacing her alternator on her 'ol Lincoln the day before but the car still isn't working, would not take off with my kid. Hell, she DID admit she didn't have a car for an easy get away so, what's the problem?

The problem occurred when she said, "Hey, I think the girl's have to go to the bathroom!" Strangely enough, I never heard this demand from them. I responded with "thanks for the update." She ignored me and proceeded to take them with her to the back room while I screamed, "NO-O-O-O-O (AND YES, MY NO ECHOED THROUGHOUT THE STORE!) THEY CAN'T GO TO THE BATHROOM ON THEIR OWN!" I threw my shit to the side and ran like there was no tomorrow to the bathroom, ready to take down the overly-eager and odd Kinko's worker. I'm sure she was a very nice person who also confessed to getting married at 15 and having the first of her four children at 16 but I couldn't help to FREAK THE FUCK OUT when she darted to the bathroom with my kids. AFTER I had emphatically screamed, NO!!!

The thing is - I hate to think that this (probably) nice, VERY SAD, woman, was missing the youth of children, while I freaked thinking she was going to do something heinous to my children. While the circumstances were just plain weird, I hate feeling like everyone is out to get me and my children. I hate condemning people for probable innocent actions but WOW, who the hell takes a stranger's brood to the bathroom while they are working? at a Kinko's? I mean, I don't even want to take my own kids to the bathroom. Am I wrong? Did I overreact?

Probably, but (in the immortal words of my Mother) these days you just can't be too careful.

**never you mind that rat's nest on top of her head.**

Hell! I would loan them out if they weren't my little munchkins and I hadn't the constant, daily reminders etched onto my belly of their sweet existence.

Comments

[Yo mama]

Hey Baby, Like I said, paranoia and obsession is in the genes, but just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean that they aren't after me. I haven't taken to wearing the aluminum foil hat, and I figure if someone wants my credit information, good luck...

It is pretty damned sad that we have to think that strangers might be pervs, or worse...but, really, you can't be too careful, and being careful is just our way of insuring that our little gene pool survives - blame it on the Irish - tough as nails, morose and kick-ass paranoid.

And...your kids are pretty - it causes people to notice them - sometimes good and sometimes not...
Another woman's obsession is another woman's reality.
Love, M

[a madhouse wife]

no, you never can be too careful (said the mom who gave her kid an underdog on the swing which cause him to fly out of said swing and eat grass). never too careful, indeed.

[BeachMama]

Oh my gosh, you are not over reacting! I yelled 'NOOOOOO' at the bank teller that wanted to put the soother back in Apple's mouth. Her look of shock was enough, but I said, "Please don't touch my baby, I don't know you and so far she is the only one in our house that hasn't been deathly ill in the last two months." She still thought I was a freak, but I so don't care. My Mom tells me to cut little old ladies some slack, and my reply was "Mom, stop touching babies you don't know. Just because you sterilize your hands every 10 minutes doesn't mean that those Mom's want you touching their kids" So, alas, she has stopped. As for a stranger taking my kid to the bathroom? Heck, I don't even let my Mother in Law take them, so there you go, you are not alone :). (Sorry for the novella)

[PeanutButtersMum]

NO!!!!!! You did NOT over-react. Period.

[sizzle]

I would have done the same thing. That's just not cool. I don't care if she was trying to be helpful. You just don't do that to a stranger's kids!

[180/360]

It was all fine until she offered to take them to the bathroom. THAT is just strange! You definitely did the right thing.

Ava and Max are really social little beings, always talking to strangers wherever we go. It is so hard to curb their enthusiasm (no pun intended) while keeping them in the understanding that strangers aren't always going to be nice. Saying that, Max has been accosting older people lately with repeating random statements like "I pooped at Daddy's meeting" or "Mama's car got bonked by a big truck." I guess it can sort of go both ways... :)

[whoorl]

DUDE! You did not overreact. That shit is BIZARRO.

[M&Co.]

No. You didn't overreact. I still don't let the BoyChild go into the men's room by himself. If his Dad, or some other adult male I know very well and trust, isn't there, he has to go into the women's room with me.

[lizgwiz]

Only once in my life have I ever gone into a bathroom with a stranger's kid, and it was only because I had no choice. I was running a concession stand at a softball park one summer, and the big championship game was going on at the field furthest from the concession stand/bathrooms. It was league play, so the same people had been around all summer, and so had most of their kids. So I guess they weren't TOTAL strangers, but I didn't know their names. Anyway, there were these two really cute little kids, brother and sister, and they came up to use the bathroom while their parents stayed to watch the game. (Small town ballpark--nobody worried about stranger danger.) The little girl appeared at my window saying "Help! Help! My brother needs help!" So I rushed into the bathroom to see what was wrong and he was sitting there on the toilet. "What's wrong, honey?" "I just pooped and I can't wipe my butt." So I wiped it and sent him on his way. But I didn't ENJOY it!

[mrsmogul]

First, Stay away from KINKO'S! They are employed by mutants! Second, yes it's a pain when people get involved with your kids

[becky]

always trust your instincts. always.

[Amanda]

No, that was weird. You had every right to react the way that you did.

[Amberly]

Hey! My kid has the same shoes as your kid in pic #1! Anyway, I agree, you can never be too careful. Here in UT we just had a kidnap/killing of a little girl just last week by her neighbor. I'll bet all the shoulda/woulda/coulda's in the world won't cure that guilt.

Even without the Kinko's thing, checking the windows and doors or whatever, you still can't be too careful, in my book. You never want to have to look back and think, "If only I'd.......".

[Jill]

You can never over do the worrying. Looking back- whats the worst that can happen- you feel a little silly? But if you didnt worry- then you could look back and say why did I let that happen.

Glad the kids are safe.