when did you decide

enough was enough? Specifically, when did you decide you were tired of being fat, bloated, stretched and achy? Tired of being tired and tired of having 5 sets of colorful muumuus in your closet due to being a vessel to a parasite? When did you decide was the magical age of reason for being another or someone else's mama was done, over and FINITO? Your house runneth over, your finances would never recover, your body will never respond from such a thing? Meaning - when did you decide you were done spawning? children.

Lately, Celia has had it set in her mind, I'm going to have another child. She casually bull-horned this information to everyone and anyone who would listen during our the last field trip. The mother's in attendance asked if we were done littering the free-world. I sheepishly proclaimed, "over my dead, fat body, I don't thinks so. I don't know. Whatever! Pass the chips."

Either Celia's prophetic or she's simply delusional. I'd like to think the latter. Honestly, she comes from a long line of crazy folk in my family. We're all out-of-our-minds, I tell ya!

During Rich's birthday party this past weekend, quite a few friends asked if we were done shooting forth from the fruit of our loins. My response? Pass the damn Tequila people! You are ALL OBVIOUSLY DRUNK OFF YOUR ASSES!! Nope, NADA, Never.

See, I don't like baby, babies. I don't like or love the first six months of life. Shoot me for being an incredibly horrible person but if you had TWO colicky kids screaming and not sleeping for the first year of their lives, you'd feel the same. Let's just say, it's not-so-cute and cuddly.

However, I do like them when they are Five and can tell you their interesting and sweet, intricate lies. This I can understand. This I can reason with and laugh. NOT little ones who can't tell you where it hurts and think it's funny to scream while you haven't slept in 17 months. straight.

I ask this question not because I think I'm an awesome mother (we ALL KNOW, I'm SOOOOO NOT!) who seriously thinks the world needs another Gorillabuns around to torture but I ask this question because I never consciously made the decision to be done, over and FINITO! I didn't pay attention and relish in Moira's pregnancy because I was a) too freakin' sick, b) had JUST been pregnant 11 months before Mordecai and c) I always thought I'd have another one soon. Have a butt-load of kids. Maybe this feeling is because I'm an only child and man, it's kinda a lonely place to be in life. No one to share in life's sad end and in sweet victorious moments.

There have been many hit-and-misses in the past few years of which, I never planned. With a sister-in-law trying to get pregnant with IVF, a friend who gets pregnant while drinking tap water and then subsequently, losing them due to circumstances beyond her control,  I wonder and reflect.  I consider, weigh and re-weigh my thoughts and options - this ship probably sailed, burned and has been buried way out into the yonder sea. I thoughtfully think, I'm almost 40 and why play Russian-roulette with chances and theories? I have two perfectly and seemingly healthy children.

Why play the odds? I don't gamble because I don't like to lose.

Would you?

Comments

[180/360]

I'm not a big gambler either- especially when it comes to people! I'd like to think you will just know when you are done. There won't be any second guessing. I have an entirely different problem- having to convince a husband who thinks he's done when he isn't. :)

[Isabel]

Yeah, I know I'm not done. But also...not ready for the whole "year of no sleep" thing again.

It's a hard one. And um...good luck to all of us.

[ali]

i always thought we'd have four. we both come from families with four children and just thought that was perfect. and then we had three. and we are done at three. my family feels perfect. sure, i could see another little one running around and i'm sure he or she would fit nicely into our family. but three>? that seems to be what my mind and body can handle.

[madhouse wife]

I decided I was done being fat when I had to tear a dress off myself because I couldn't get it off on its own. But that really doesn't have much to do with kids. We're done. We both know it. Our family feels right with two kids in it, and frankly, I don't have the energy or the patience for any more. I got lucky, though, because I have one of each. Like you, I don't love the baby stage that much. There are some fun things about it, but nursing 14 hours a day? Don't miss that. Getting up in the middle of the night? Don't miss that. In a few years, my kids will be able to be taken out in public, and I'm ready! So, yeah. We're way done.

[Karen]

I don't know. I know I want more than two kids... but it's been so long, it seems hard to start again. But I think we are going for it. Especially after our recent loss. I just feel like we can't stop trying now.

[Angella]

When you know, you know. Before having kids, I thought four would be perfect. After having two, we both knew that ONE more is all my body could handle.

It is not medically impossible for us to procreate, and if we ever want a fourth, there's adoption :)

[little miss mel]

With only having two kids for like two seconds/11 days, I can say we are busy. Once I have had these two around for say, 18 months, we'll decide if another is in our future. Sure, we both would love to have a girl, but is having another in US? Only time will tell.

[Amberly]

Wow, you're an only child? Now I'm definitely interested! (Not that I wasn't before). But see, I have five brothers and two sisters. My kid? Has none. I know I do really bad things while trying to overcompensate for the lack of siblings (i.e. a ten year old with $80 DC shoes) but.......okay, I don't have a "but" here, but (oh wait, there it was) tell me this: Do you think it's bad to overcompensate for siblings she's dying to have but [probably] never will? Don't get me wrong, I'm dying to give her a kid sister, but I suppose it's not in my cards.

[the weirdgirl]

I made the decision way before I had kids that I only wanted two! Pregnancy confirmed that decision because being pregnant sucks! I knew I could only physically go through that twice, tops.

But then I came from a family of four kids so that end of the spectrum did not appeal to me.

We're working towards a second one now. As much as I loathe pregnancy I do feel deep down that I'm supposed to have two kids. But that's it!

[Redneck Mommy]

Hmmm...well I hated pregnancy. From start to finish. And I didn't particularly enjoy the first six months of any of my kids lives. I like my kids to have personality. Not just be eating, shitting, sleep depriving little gremlins.

But man do I wish I had more than three kids. If it were possible, I'd get knocked up as fast as possible and to hell with the odds.

Because I can tell you first hand, you love them no matter how they come.

Still, there is much to be said for adoption...lol.

[BeachMama]

I don't know if I would ever be 'done'. With our own struggles with infertility, fertility, infertility... I would take another pregnancy in a heartbeat. Hubby however, now that is a different story. I think he thinks he is done, but I will do anything to change that thought over the next year as time is not on our side.