best intentions

 

THIS, I REPEAT THIS! is NOT what you give someone who has lost their baby recently.

A fucking baby blanket.

A baby blanket that has no meaning to you since you don't have any memories associated with it and your dead child.

I know the intent was meant well but I just really don't see myself "wrapping myself up in this 'thing' when I'm sad or depressed while thinking about my baby."

This gift was given to me from a client who doesn't know me well. I know she was trying to give me comfort but the reverse happened. This "gift" made me even more sad. The kind of sadness of which makes me feel like I'm having a hard time associating anything with the little dude. The kind of sadness settling in the deep recesses and cracks of my memory while reminding me of my fading loss - I feel like I'm forgetting the planes of his face and the beautiful sounds of his coos and giggles - everyday with every breath I take.

Like this situation didn't really happen to me but instead, I'm living someone else's nightmare.

Comments

[Jessica]

I wish people would use their freaking brains once in a while. Morons.

I'm sorry.

[Stephanie]

Jessica said it perfectly. I am so sorry as well.

[trish walker]

Donate the blanket to someone who would use it. Maybe someone you know could make you a quilt/blanket out of Thalon's sleepers, blanket, etc. I think you would love that. Wish I knew how to sew, but I don't. I had to staple my last pants that the hem came out of, or I would do it for you. I hope this doesn't offend you, I too have good intentions, but seriously - not sure how she thought that would help you.

[Niki]

I am sure this person thought this gift was just the bees knees. Fool.

[Melissa]

My guess is that it's not a baby blanket; it's a prayer shawl. My mother-in-law and her church cronies knit them and give them to people who are having a hard time. The color and yarn choice were wildly inappropriate, I'll agree, but I just thought I'd mention that in case it makes you feel any better.

[Christine]

All that and it's ugly, too. Yikes.

My guess is with Melissa; it looks like a prayer shawl to me as well. And Trish makes a good point: there may be a hospital, shelter, etc. nearby that would take it -- better that someone get some use out of it, right?

[gorillabuns]

of course i will be donating it with other things this week. maybe since i'm catholic i don't get the whole Prayer Shawl thing.:)

[Kyra]

Oh geeze. I'm so sorry someone did that. Sometimes you really have to ask whether people are awake at all in life.

[Dianne]

WTF? I don't get why anyone would think that was an appropriate thing to give to you? I just don't understand people.

[Katie]

Donate the crap out of that blanket . . prayer shawl. . . whatever. It was a nice, thoughtless gesture.

[Angie]

I'm sorry and my heart feels for you,,,13 yrs ago I lost my baby to a negleted babysitter,,the hole in my heart will never mend,,I would do what the other ladies said and Donate it back to someone else,,give it to a homeless person,,he needs it more then you do,,again I'm sorry

[Neil]

Just kinda stupid of this person. Person needs to read Emily Post for proper etiquette.

[Aunt Becky]

*sighs*

*sighs*

I'm so sorry.

[Tracey]

gah.

i'm sorry.

[Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com]

I'm positive that you are not forgetting as much as you fear. A very close friend of ours lost her son years ago. She said that at first she worried that she was losing memories, losing the feeling of him beneath her fingers and the smell of his hair after a bath and the beautiful features of his face...but that she realizes now she remembers them more perfectly than anything else because he was so important to her.

I hope that whoever ends up with it enjoys the blanket. And I am so so sorry.

[Debby Pucci]

Why did the client send a baby blanket? It doesn't make any sense at all, do they know what happened?
I am so sorry. I was also reading your posts about the tests. Why does it have to take so long? That is so unfair to you. My heart aches for you and this horrific journey you must travel.

[Danny]

It's been 7 weeks and 1 day for me and I'm STILL expecting to wake up from the nightmare...literally, I think I'll wake up and none of it will have happened. Oy, I hope my new meds are working. The person who gave you that gift is nuts. I just had a person write a comment on my blog saying that our loss was the "devastating consequences of our actions" because my wife and I are both over 40 and dared to have a child (even though my wife's age had NOTHING to do with my son's death). I deleted the comment and the second one that tried to turn my post about grief and acceptance into a referendum about women over 40 having kids.

[Krystyn]

very bad decision on their part.

[little miss mel]

Sorry it wasn't the ideal gift sweetie.

I have never heard of a prayer shawl. As you said, someone can get some use out of it.

[Danny]

P.S. If that's a prayer shawl, then I'm a yarmulke. (I feel mean and bitter for saying that because I'm sure it WAS given with the best of intentions but that ain't no prayer shawl!)

[Cristen]

I think it's a lap blanket. That's what our church makes for prayer blankets.

[DD]

You need a pair of arms to wrap around you, not a blanket, prayer- or no.

[ShellyD]

No wonder I have a hard time with organized religion. Amazing.

[Lisa]

Not the best gift. The client clearly didn't think that one through. Good idea to donate it. Get it out of your house so it doesn't bother you and someone else can get good use out of it.

[Virginia]

Yeesh. I'm just so sorry there are so many idiots in the world.