Rich was cleaning his photo card from his work camera the other day and came across a picture of Thalon I never knew existed.
Feelings of anguish rush at an alarming rate when I look at his sweet little face. I start to AGAIN question, why me? WHY HIM? Why, why, why?
The answer is: there is no answer. I'm doing the best I can to come to grips with the non-answer. I do know that when I look at this picture, my heart aches and have to remind myself and my girls, he is/was a part of our family especially when my oldest said tonight, "mommy, you don't have a son."
my response? "honey, we still have a brother and son. we just can't see him right now but we need to always remember him. He's just as much a part of our family as you and I."
I then think about this response and realize what a hard concept for a child to understand and grasp given I'm a 40 year old woman, who doesn't understand it herself. I'm not sure I ever will.