russian roulette

The other evening, my Uncle in California and I were emailing back and forth about the injustices and oddities of death and the like.  He linked an article about a woman being struck by lightening and killed while someone else's family was hit by a tree and killed during the same storm in California. Hell, in Oklahoma, this is a common occurrence. Monthly.

Sue me, I'm a little hardened by the thought of death these days.

Sometimes, when at my most generous, I liken my thoughts to that of a drunken William S. Burroughs wanna-be (but wait, wasn't he drunk or high most of his life?) My response was such or should I say my drunken response was:

if lucky, some of us die in our sleep while some of us die in a freakish accident and some of us die of our own free will.

i think death is a little game of russian roulette. you never know when the bullet is ready to take you out or if you were spared for the next round of it's little insidious vicious game.

After re-reading my comments, I thought, "wow, shana, you are so fucking profound!" Then, I realized, I was more like Jack Handy in my statement and had another drink. Because, this is what one does when one thinks they are more existential than they really are. Should I share with you I made an A+ in Existential Psych in Grad School? It's all bullshit, really and I excelled in this course with flying colors.

What does this say about me?

Please, really, don't answer.

Anywho, while returning from my Vegas trip, some dude sat next to me on the plane back to the great land of the OKC. Usually, I fake sleep as not to be bothered by buggers but I decided to fuck with him since I had guzzled two Stella beers prior to boarding and oh, yes, had taken a big 'ol Xanax in preparation of our flight. I then started asking for a Monster and Vodka before take-off. He drank a nelly cranberry juice. Wuss.

He stated he had been in some poker tournament that Neil had been watching during his stay and decided I looked "safe" to talk to during his hyperventilating trip home. While I sloshed my drink around during our mid-air turbulence, exclaiming, "it's all right. i lost a child 7 weeks ago. we aren't going to die today, because really, that would really be fucked up!" He reminded me that usually tragedies come in threes and didn't I watch the news that day? A plane went down in the Mid-Atlantic area and they couldn't find the remains.

My response? "And? What are the chances that TWO PLANES are going down on the same day?"

I guess my answer really didn't appease him and when did I become so "the glass is so half-full?". So, I tried to appease him (two Vodka and Monsters later) that "dude, when it's your time to go, it's your time to go.Though, since I've had a string of bad luck lately, you might want to move on down the back of the plane, nearest the bathroom because, I'm so not full of lady luck these days."

Stupidly, he stayed. Then he proceeded to flirt. While placating his scaredy-cat ass that we weren't going to crash, he told me he liked women that were "full-figured."

Yea, boy, you had me at "full-figured."

Needless to say, when he figured out that I had two children and a husband waiting for me at the ending gate of our destination, he dashed away upon arrival. I regaled my conversation about this dude with my husband. I don't he thought it was as funny as I did but for just a moment - even while the strange dude was lying out his teeth - it felt good that someone flirted with me. Like I was 22 again and 125lbs.

or maybe, it was a perfect cap-off to a perfect weekend. Feeling unlike myself in such a surreal situation. Reality rearing it's ugly head at me upon descent.

 

 

Comments

[GingerB]

Honey, you are doing great. You approached a problem (seat mate bugger) and didn't back down or hide and instead used humor, then got a compliment that you like in some way that may be weird since you didn't like that particular dude, but you still felt good, and are still yourself, getting existential but knowing it is crap. You are way out ahead of most folks' coping skills even dealing with grief. I think you are doing great! And you have the great hair that impressed all your bloggy friends. Really, well done!

[page]

You're rocking it, lady. I'd choose you as a seat mate every day and twice on Sunday. And I love the new header on the blog. It made me tear up, as did the photo of you and your little man.

I'm raising a glass to you now. Glad you had fun in Vegas.

[m]

is monster that energy drink? i'm fiercly loyal to my red bull. i might have to give it a go.

the only time i drink cranberry (& vodka) is when i'm out drinking & simultaneous have a UTI.

[Candice at Wolfs on Safari]

Sometimes it takes a stranger to make us feel good...because they don't have to be nice!

[Michele]

Maybe that phrase should be "What happens on the plane home from Vegas, stays in Vegas." Poor guy forget he wasnt in Sin City anymore! ;)

[Yo mama]

Babe, mostly you just don't get how beautiful you really are, and better yet, smart and hilariously funny!! How could a guy resist? And really life pretty much seems like a cosmic crapshoot, but since I haven't got the answers, I prayed "a lot" about your flight anyway.

[Bitts]

I hope it doesn't sound trite to say that when I looked at the Vegas pics, I was struck by how beautiful and well-put-together you looked. I would have been impressed if you had been merely vertical! It sounds like your seat mate found you irresistable too.

It is so unsettling how the world continues to turn long after (7 weeks after) it should have ground to a screeching stop.

[Christine]

Dude, I would probably hit on you too. But I'm like that when I've had my pre-flight drink. I would not however tell you that I liked my lady "full figured." What a dunce. For some reason, Tony doesn't like it when I tell him about the random people that hit on me too. You would think they would be complimented.

[Kristabella]

Dude, you're SEXY! Of course he hit on you! Have you seen your rack?

You've got to give the guy credit! He could have given up after the "lost a baby" comment. But he didn't! And he made you feel hawt, so that's awesome!

[Tammy C]

I wrote a few weeks back, when I literally was one of hundreds of comments. I want you to know that you completely and totally rock. I have so much admiration for you and for how you are handling this tragedy. I wish I lived in OKC (OK, maybe not OKC because of the crazy storms but in another town where we both lived) and drink a vodka and red bull with you (OK, maybe I would drink a beer instead). Your family is so lucky to be able to have you as their Mom!

[3carnations]

Full figured. Heh.

A million years ago, when my ex left me in a state I had lived in for only 3 years, finding me suddenly single (and about 15 pounds heavier than I am today), a male coworker told me "You're lucky you live in Michigan (high Dutch population). Dutch men like women with a little meat on their bones."

The only time you should "compliment" a women by commenting on meat on her bones, she better have dropped a hamburger on her knee.

[Becky]

I'm planning on flying down to Oklahoma to shove my tongue down your throat. But that's just how I roll.

[Stacey]

You really have no idea how attractive you are . . . but then again, do any of us? We are our own worst critics. I look at pictures of myself taken years ago and wonder why I ever thought I was heavy, ugly, etc. You certainly can't go off of societal standards -- we all can't be size 2, blonde and blue-eyed.

Funny how, universally, husbands SO don't want to know about their wives' pasts/flirtations. I know my own husband doesn't. Well, hey -- too bad! You don't want to be the only car parked at a restaurant!!! It's nice to let them know they have some competition! This way, they don't become complacent.

How did Rich and the girls survive your absence? Any fun tales to tell?

[Jen]

May I respectfully say that I don't think you know how much you have it going on. Poor guy, he could not help himself - A for effort, right? I am so glad you had a great weekend! You are loved.

[Amy]

Wow, he really knows how to get the ladies lol.

[ss]

How is your husband handling the loss of Thalon?

[little miss mel]

I intentionally sat next to an old married couple on the way home from vegas hoping to be left alone or if spoken to, a "nice old man convo who is sitting next to his wife" kind. :)

[Cynnie]

I never drink on airplanes, i want to be able to fight if the need arises..or scramble over old ladies and children to make it to the exit first..
whichever..

sometimes in the middle of the flight i look around and watch what people are doing.this could be the very last thing they do alive..Im a morbid cow

[BeachMama]

I am like you and pretend to sleep or as it has been for the last 5.5 years, I just show up with kids in tow and people ask to be moved, then apologize later when they realize that my kid was the only one not screaming for the whole trip.

Anyhow, you are never too old, too married or have too many children to be flirted with. Flirting is a harmless way of making others feel great. I take a flirt any day as long as the guy stays away and realizes that all he is getting is a smile in return.

[Suze]

This one guy told me many years ago that my "personality made me cute". Asshole.

[Haley-O]

I've been thinking about you - how it's hard getting back to reality after a vacation. I'm glad you had that flattering, feel-good experience to cap off your trip. You deserve that. ((hugs))

[180]

This story is pretty hilarious. I think I would've excelled in existential psych had I taken such a class and especially with my history of "study aides!" ;)

I don't think you realize how sexy you are, both inside and out! Miss you... come back. (I think I'll forever be saying this...)

[andrea]

Oh my god, you got lucky. I had a four year old next to me playing with the armrest the entire flight while his dad soundly slept next to us. I am sure all the passengers thought I was this kids mother and wondered why I wasn't doing anything about him. The least the kid could have done was flirt with me a bit and offer to buy me a drink.

Miss you terribly. Please come and visit soon, or at the very least, let me come visit you. xoxo

[sassy]

I have family in Tennessee and they're pretty much the same as far as death goes, maybe it's a southern thing. Sometimes we shoot guns off the porch of my Aunt's farmhouse w/ the little nieces & nephews running around half naked everywhere, and no one is phased.

[LVGurl]

My Grammy always says, "Your spot is marked!"

I'm right there with Kim. I came away from the weekend with a little bit of a crush on you.