random rambles from Crazy Town

Today is my Mother's birthday. I hope she doesn't mind me saying this but I'm going to anyway. She turns 61 today. Might I add, she looks light years younger than her age and has better taste in music than I. Sometimes I feel like my mother and I live a "Freaky Friday" kind of existence. Thinking about what my life might be like at her age, I'm blown away at the differences. A) Celia will be 26 and Moira 25 and probably still living with us. B) Can't think of a B. All I know is, I don't feel 40 so I can only imagine how she feels at 61.

Aging is such a bitch. Too bad we can't stay 25 forever. I'll even take 30.

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I have successfully/unsuccessfully blurted out in the past few days that I have a dead son at which point, I made one of the ladies bust out crying. My "frankness" or as most would say "directness," sometimes/most of the time gets in the way of how I deliver or probably shouldn't deliver this piece of news.

I really need to work on my delivery. Maybe I can find a class on "tact" at the local Community College.

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A teacher asked if I wanted to substitute teach her First grade class tomorrow. I looked around to make sure she was really talking to me because, are you really asking me? I'm not a kid person, well other people's kids I should say. I laughed and said, "Sure! If you want me to pass out gin shots to all the kids and dissect the inner workings of the dramatic love scenes on General Hospital!" Funny thing is, I think she'd be okay with my lesson plan.

Need I remind you, my kids go to a Catholic school.

Comments

[Titanium]

The kids would absolutely LOVE to have you take over the class! You should do it... just for the fun of it.

[Francie]

I just want to tell you I appreciate your "rambles". You make me laugh and cry. You make me feel okay (whatever that says about me?!). I miss you when you don't post, yet I'm amazed that you take the time to post at all. Thank you for being part of my life, even though I hide in the shadows reading about yours. That's it for my rambles :)

[a]

Sign me up for the tact class too. Maybe it could be an online course, although I think some actual face-to-face practice is probably necessary in this kind of thing.

No one pays any attention to what the substitute teacher says, so gin shots and General Hospital would probably pass mostly unnoticed. ESPECIALLY in a Catholic school.

Happy Birthday to your mom.

[Sarah R]

Happy birthday to your mama! My mom is one of those foxy ladies too. She is 49 and REALLY doesn't look it. It was so much fun in high school having the mom who was the MILF while in the meantime, you were the band geek. Oy!

[Rhi]

My mom likes to TELL people how young she looks, yet she really just looks exactly her age. I think she thinks that if she tells them that she looks young, they'll instantly believe it.

[Danny]

I was waiting for a take-out pizza at a local restaurant the other day and ran into a friend I hadn't seen in ages. In the brief conversation I found myself blurting out that one of my twin sons had died and she burst into tears as she was going into the restaurant to sit down. I felt guilty for upsetting her, but what could I do--pretend that my son had NOT died when she asked about my wife and her pregnancy? I don't think you need a class on tact--it's upsetting to hear such news but alas, that's our lives.

Happy Birthday to your mom. 61 suddenly seems VERY young to me!!

[Cat]

Happy Birthday to Grandma Buns! And don't worry...some people are just criers and would burst into tears no matter how you worded it, and probably would do the same if you told them your favorite mythical beast is a golden unicorn.

[Sherri]

It's my mama's birthday today too :) ! Thinking of you!

[sizzle]

That's the perfect lesson plan for Catholic school!

Tact is totally overrated.

[carrie]

Do it! I'm always so jealous of the moms who get to sub at my son's Catholic school. They're all in the know about everything! lol

[eva]

It was my mom's 61st birthday yesterday! But no one will ever EVER ask me to substitute teach grade one. Maybe....health or PE or something waaaaay down the road, but clearly you are a lot more wholesome seeming than I am to be asked to do grade 1! Or, you WERE wholesome seeming until that whole gin thing came up:)

[Hope]

When I turned 29 (I'm almost 33) my godmother told me: "You're almost 30 now, which really isn't much different than 40 so really you're just as old as the rest of us."

Who needs tact? Say it however you feel like. There's no graceful way to say someone is dead. A friend and I both just shout out 'My mom is DEAD!'. That tends to shut complainers up right quick and put things in perspective.

I would have loved doing shots when I was in Catholic grade school. Totally go for it!

[Kristabella]

I forget that people don't know my dad is dead and I just blurt it out like I'm telling you that my underwear is pink. It catches people off guard and I had someone cry once.

It's good someone cries for that bastard.

[Amy --- Just A Titch]

As a teacher, I'll assure you that lesson plan is FAR more sophisticated than what most subs do in the classrooms.

[This New Place]

that's good. "I'm not a kid person, well, other people's kids". I feel the same way, actually, minus a few favorite other kids. I can hardly handle my own. So, are you substituting or not? That's what I wanna know!

[Serena Beltz]

I hope you're subbing because that would be awesome and I can't wait to hear about your adventure!

Tact=the teacher's response to Celia's favorite snack/food. That was tact esp in a Catholic School (been there, subbed there, sending my kids there!)...

[Suze]

Having gone through Catholic school, you would've been a welcome addition as a substitute. Sr. Rose always yelled and smelled like smoke.

My mom is going to 69 this year. She keeps bugging me about throwing her a 70th birthday party. I'm hoping her memory will start to go so we can forget about the whole thing :)

[180]

Happy Birthday, Mama GBuns! I'm still waiting to see her young face... :)

PS. Never lose your directness. I love it! I wish more people were that way.

[Alicia @ bethsix]

Fuck tact. You're the last person on the planet that needs to worry about tact when talking about Thalon.

[willikat]

I far prefer honesty and frankness over any other word that means sugarcoat. Tact is important, but mostly so when you're criticizing other people, no? When you're talking about yourself or life, I think you can do whatever the crap you want!

I try to be as honest and upfront as possible, personally. And in the Land of Minnesota Nice, that can be a little hard for some to take.

Which is all to say... I like you.

[Jill VT]

Tact is for Protestants. Truth and Gin, for us Catholics.

You go.

[Shannon Kieta]

All I have to say is your mama is one lucky lady to be labeled as Your "Mom". I am sure she is honored to have that title. And when you are 61, I am sure you will be even MORE beautiful, with better lips!!! I say, do the class and have some fun! WHat do you have to lose? If you need an extra bottle of rum for those shot, I'll send it Fed Ex overnight, God won't mind! Shannon

[Trisha]

I have to agree with the previous poster who said that tact is most important when criticizing someone. I much prefer being direct- and love reading your rambles (I totally mean that in a good way not a "oh crap Shana's rambling kinda way!) about your own directness! Besides, when telling someone that your loved one is dead, the only way to be is direct- I mean you either say it or you don't and if people cry that's ok too. Ok now I am rambling but not in the good way LOL

[layla]

please be sure to substitute teach my 5th grader who thinks you are the bomb dot com and probably has some what of a crush on you...need i say that he announced you said hi to him in the lunch line-the first detail of the day that he blurted out and please stop in on the kindergartner to make sure he is actually paying attention.
miss you.
layla

[Paige Jennifer]

(1) My mother can be a royal pain in the ass but man am I thrilled I inherited her look-younger-than-you-are genes. The other day someone guessed my age and was off by ten years, as in ten years younger. I proposed marriage right then and there.

(2) (warning - bluntness to follow) My father is sick. He's been sick since I was eight. I don't use flowery language when I announce this to people. It's real. It shouldn't be decorated with pretty streamers and smiley faces.

(3) I think your lesson plan far surpasses that of my first grade teacher. Might I get a copy? Is the gin included?