Rock Band, days gone by

If you know any of our back story in this buns of hold... You would know, we are the lovers of Rock Band.

We would play almost every weekend with a close set of friends and the like. Any one brave enough to strap a machine on. Times, situations and behavioral modification of the like has since set our once "massive" ritual to a most immediate halt.

an up most STANDSTILL.

I enjoyed getting together with cocktails, singing, banging on drums to think we were the bad-asses of mother-of-pearl geezer rock. The music, the togetherness and our children made me feel not-so-fucking old.

Unfortunately, like most of my life, the thrill is gone. Well, not at my hands but at someone else's. 

So... I've decided to start auditions for a new set of "Bandoleer's" who might want to hang with us. Awesome appetizers, food, drink, conversation and well..."me" added to the mix. We need some new blood who is committed. Because we miss our therapy sessions. Rock Band is waayy cheaper than actual counseling sessions and far more cathartic.

We'll be holding auditions next weekend for replacements.

The only thing is.... there are some rules.....

1) You do not talk about ROCK BAND.

Secondly,

You DO NOT talk about ROCK BAND. with ANYONE WHO DOES NOT APPROVE or understand!

Okay, so I've broken the second rule because I'm the recruiter.

3) If someone says "stop" or goes limp, taps out the a song, the set is over.

Who am I kidding, we make you sing even if you don't want to...

4) Only devoted Rock Band peeps need apply.

Please at least be able to play the base 4 out of the 10 notes required....

5) One song at a time.

6) Shirts, shoes, clothing optional.

7) Songs will go on as long as they have to.

but please for the love that is all holy, do not sing "Free Bird." That shit lasts way too fucking long and I'm a self-diagnosed Narcoleptic. It's not pretty when I fall asleep on the floor or toilet....

8) If this is your first night of Rock Band, you HAVE to sing!!!

Sing like you are one bad-ass motherfucker!!!

If you follow all of these rules, you just might be invited into our Rock Band haven.

Oh, I forgot. It is mandatory that I might sing some bullshit Pink song while Rich ends the evening EVER TIME with "This Monkey Goes to Heaven."

A song that brings both nightmares and feverent joy to my lyrical psyche. For some odd reason, it is our "make-up" song. 

Go figure.

 

Comments

[DawnA]

Since I'm the first person so comment does that mean I'm automatically accepted?? I can bring food and wine. I like to cook......and drink. Ah hell who am I kidding I'd also make a complete ass of myself pretending like I can sing! Good luck with your auditions.

[M]

Sadly, I think I live too far away to be in the mix. I cracked up at the Pixies thing - I used to sing in a band and we ALWAYS played Monkey Gone To Heaven at Friday or Saturday night band practice after consuming large amounts of beer. Other favorites on these nights were Gigantic (another Pixies <3) and Pavement's Cut Your Hair. Good times, good times.

[180]

Yet another reason to love Rich.

[Teki]

Sigh. Wish I was close. Do so adore me some Pixies. I bleed.

[a]

I would join you but for two things. 1) I don't live in OK and 2) Rock Band makes me feel like I'm developing carpal tunnel. (Also I suck really bad AND I can't sing).

[Jackie]

hahaha Love it! My sister her daughter and her daughters friend came up a few years ago while my son and husband were out of town. We watched moves but mostly played rock band. When my guys got back in town we played family againest family. We kicked my sister's family's ass! It was so much fun!

I play guitar (med or easy) my son plays drums (hard or expert) my husband sings. So much fun.

Now my dad lives with us and my son has moved to OK for College. Rock band is out for us for now. Saddly. :-(

Hope y'all Rock it and find the awesome band mates you are looking for.

[Brandy]

PICK ME!!!!! I wish I was closer, Ohio is kinda far :o)

[Michele]

You crack me up!! Thanks and good luck with the recruiting process!

[Lisa]

The thought of playing Rock Band makes me shudder! I don't think you have enough alcohol.

[Sue]

Count me in. I can playing "Bon Jovi" songs on the guitar like no one's busines. I mean it....like professional. I sing awesome too. The crowd on Rock Band just scream for me. My husband says my playing brings tears to his eyes. Hmm, let me think about that one for a while.

[Sheila]

Awww man, I'm in California! But, I call dibs on the mic every time because I CAN NOT work the guitar or drums!!! :)