If you know any of our back story in this buns of hold... You would know, we are the lovers of Rock Band.
We would play almost every weekend with a close set of friends and the like. Any one brave enough to strap a machine on. Times, situations and behavioral modification of the like has since set our once "massive" ritual to a most immediate halt.
an up most STANDSTILL.
I enjoyed getting together with cocktails, singing, banging on drums to think we were the bad-asses of mother-of-pearl geezer rock. The music, the togetherness and our children made me feel not-so-fucking old.
Unfortunately, like most of my life, the thrill is gone. Well, not at my hands but at someone else's.
So... I've decided to start auditions for a new set of "Bandoleer's" who might want to hang with us. Awesome appetizers, food, drink, conversation and well..."me" added to the mix. We need some new blood who is committed. Because we miss our therapy sessions. Rock Band is waayy cheaper than actual counseling sessions and far more cathartic.
We'll be holding auditions next weekend for replacements.
The only thing is.... there are some rules.....
1) You do not talk about ROCK BAND.
You DO NOT talk about ROCK BAND. with ANYONE WHO DOES NOT APPROVE or understand!
Okay, so I've broken the second rule because I'm the recruiter.
3) If someone says "stop" or goes limp, taps out the a song, the set is over.
Who am I kidding, we make you sing even if you don't want to...
4) Only devoted Rock Band peeps need apply.
Please at least be able to play the base 4 out of the 10 notes required....
5) One song at a time.
6) Shirts, shoes, clothing optional.
7) Songs will go on as long as they have to.
but please for the love that is all holy, do not sing "Free Bird." That shit lasts way too fucking long and I'm a self-diagnosed Narcoleptic. It's not pretty when I fall asleep on the floor or toilet....
8) If this is your first night of Rock Band, you HAVE to sing!!!
Sing like you are one bad-ass motherfucker!!!
If you follow all of these rules, you just might be invited into our Rock Band haven.
Oh, I forgot. It is mandatory that I might sing some bullshit Pink song while Rich ends the evening EVER TIME with "This Monkey Goes to Heaven."
A song that brings both nightmares and feverent joy to my lyrical psyche. For some odd reason, it is our "make-up" song.