Okay. So it was not all sunshine and rainbows with regards to my children being home for their summer vacation starting like, yesterday.
I have to set the record straight. I love them. I want them around but Good Lord! I do want to sleep in longer than the 10 minutes later than school day alarm clock. Celia who stayed up way too late last night was awake at 7:30am this morning. I really needed her to sleep in until at least 8am. Then I would know that this is the respectable hour for actual salaried workers. That is if I actually clocked in at an actual job.
Now I'm truly a day care worker. Coupled with I actually like the kids I'm watching.
I started out with mandated chocolate milk and Disney channel fare.
By 8:30, my ass was in the kitchen making french toast and bacon.
Knowing this was a do or die situation on the housekeeping home front, I used old birthday plates. You know, to be so eco-friendly and green.
Then, the other child woke up. It then became stage four def-con. We are now moving into "entertain you kids or your husband will lecture your ass all day long because they keep going into his office to discuss Monster High with him."
Sadly, he has forgotten that during certain times in our lives, people actually live in this household while he works.
So I tried to distract.
Suddenly, we've moved onto craft number two within three hours. My kitchen table is a wreck with glue and paint. Thankfully, I'm a lazy mom who really doesn't give a shit if there is glitter on her table and indelible markers on her child's skin.
When I asked for just a sweet minute to go have my morning constitutional, the make up and nail polish came out to play.
Even here, I didn't freak out. Because I had a few moments alone with my US magazine while perched on the loo.
After my 10 minute break, the girls cannibalized a shipping box that just came through for the youngest Monster High's doll to have a safe haven for 'club dancing.' Notice, they have now moved into the formal dining area, a.k.a. the only place that was left clean in the house.
Since I should have been given a medal for making a one made from scratch meal and well, since I hadn't cleaned up from that damn meal, we decided to get out of the house and have lunch at the nearest Chik fil-A. Here we dined with 100 screaming kids with their equally annoying parents who ignored such screams of pain, joy and ecstasy.
When the girls finished their meal, Celia and Moira had a deep conversation about playing in the play area.
Moira:"Yea, we didn't bring socks."
Celia: "Gross! We just can't go and play in that area without socks!"
Moira: "Right! We don't want to get toe nail fungus!"
THEY LISTEN TO ME!!!! AND ACTUALLY RETAIN MY WISE TEACHINGS!!!!
We then moved onto Super Target. Nothing says bliss than spending too much money and a shit-ton of time in this haven.
We did make it out with this cute t-shirt for the girls (#photoadaymay, Day:24: something new, in case you care.)
A Harajuku girl! "If I were a rich girl, nanananananananananananana!"
We returned home and I mandated nap time. Well, I took a nap. To hell with anyone else who didn't.
I awoke to the girl's playing with their Monster High dolls and learning how to apply make up from the computer. IN THEIR FATHER'S OFFICE! Holy Hanna! I just knew I was going to be in trouble. Somehow, my husband was MIA. I'm not sure where he disappeared off to though to be sure, he was quite justified in leaving.
After the fun that was no longer fun, we then made them become farm hands by watering the fields and feeding the cows. Or in truth, watering a few dying flowers and snipping the scapes off the almost ready for picking fresh garlic. Because we really like to act like we know what the hell we are doing over here in the Buns Gardening section of the day.
I did use three of these stalks with the mini bulb chopped up in my homemade taco salad for dinner. I have to admit since I've never seen these things or used them in anything, I was skeptical in their use. They tasted really good and not overpowering. One would say, subtle. Next up, making a dressing for tonight's salad or as I like to think, the healthy part of the dinner. Because I made it from scratch. Look at me playing like I'm all Mother Earth.
We wound down the evening with the much awaited and HIGHLY ANTICIPATED return of "SO, YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE!"
This is the portion of the evening in which the girls passed out and Rich and I cried for a solid two hours over stories, dances, children, someone else's child and the pure magnitude and beauty of the human body. I have to say, we love this show as it seems to be so cathartic to our souls and psyche. Maybe because the stories of suicide, Autism, blindness and humility make us feel there is a little humanity left in this world. I simply can.not.wait until next week. This show is that damn good! Or, we are that damn pathetic.
Let us pray that tomorrow will be a little more calm with a lot less action with the kidlets.

We truly are kindred spirits.
Put a "Do Not Disturb" sign on the bedroom door and watched "my" summer show in bliss - "SYTYCD" while majorly annoyed that it is only 1 night a week this season.
Totally love how supportive they are when the nerd is truly enamored of dance and not just vying for attention . . . .
Sniff . .
Posted by: Becki | 25 May 2012 at 11:42 AM
LOVE LOVE LOVE SYTYCD..summer is officially here. My husband works from home too, so it is always fun in the summer trying to keep kids entertained and him undisturbed in the same house. My favorite is when he asks me not to vaccuum when he is trying to work…OKAY!
Posted by: Susan | 25 May 2012 at 12:14 PM
...and that was day one.
Posted by: Marci | 25 May 2012 at 01:29 PM
I'd be crafted out by day two... Now I know why we had a pool - so my mom could tell us to go outside and leave her alone without worrying about heat stroke.
Good luck with the rest of the summer!
Posted by: a | 25 May 2012 at 02:24 PM
Jon goes to work, but hates coming home to a kid messy house in the summer, so I've instituted 5:00 clean up every day. We'll see how long this actually lasts! At least it gives them something to do.
Posted by: ldmimage | 25 May 2012 at 06:17 PM
Just reading about this makes me feel tired, but also as if I'm on summer vacation too. Now all I need is someone to take me to Target and buy me a cute shirt.
I've tried to watch SYTYCD, but as soon as the judge with the annoying voice starts talking I have to change the channel. I am convinced it is not necessary for her to sound like that.
Posted by: flurrious | 27 May 2012 at 08:32 AM
I trained my kids to stay up late and watch reruns of I Dream of Jeannie and Zoro...which ended around midnight...then they would sleep in until at least 9:30...and I could get some much needed alone time. The only downside is when school began again it was soooo hard to get up!
Happy 3 Day Weekend!
Posted by: M | 27 May 2012 at 11:20 AM
I'm thinking it's time for your girls to learn how to cook!
Posted by: Gamanda | 29 May 2012 at 11:14 AM