Crap/craft of week two!:
This weeks craft is brought to you by way of the cheap-ass ghetto section of your local craft store. Get thee to your local art supply place and peruse/devour their clearance items. Load your basket full of absolutely random 'cheap' bizness and pray your kitchen table doesn't incur more paint on it. I finally learned from my mistakes and put down plastic place mats when they paint/craft. Believe me, your OCD tendencies will thank me later.
These canvases cost us $2 a piece from the said cheap-ass section. Scour your paint/brush stash and let them have it at it! If you don't already have paint from every birthday party gift ever given from the dawn of time, look through the bargains section. You'd really be surprised in what you would find there.
Here is the kicker: Pay close attention! Don't try to control the subject matter. Don't try to control how they draw it. Don't try to control how they paint/glob that mass of paint onto their pictures. This happens to be the one thing in life they can control along with their miss-matched summer outfits. Just.Let.Them.Be. Some kid control is great. FYI: Smart mouths aren't.
Now when they leave their half empty cups and crusty plates around the house, THIS is the time you can get all ape in their grills for order and control. Seriously? Last I checked this isn't a drunken fraternity here, ladies! Your Mom obviously doesn't live here!
Art for fuck-sakes is just that. Freedom from the man. Freedom from your parents. Freedom to totally concentrate on their obsession/internal dialogs. Free to be you and me. Whatever that last stupid sentence means.
Have your kiddo draw their masterpiece on the canvas in pencil then paint on said piece. Cheap easy entertainment that should take at least an hour. Never mind the subject matter because you KNOW it is going to be the obsession of the CENTURY! Surely by Christmas this phase will die out. Please GOD! Let Monster High die a peaceful death soon....
Next week? Scrap booking 101 for Grade Schoolers. Memories that will make them reminisce and yet cringe when they are 16. You bet I'll be pulling this shit out in front of their friends/boyfriends when the timing is right.
If you aren't enjoying your kids yet, then you aren't doing it right. I say this only because it is week two of our summer vacation. Check back with me in 6 weeks.
Okay, so they are doing death defying feats as I casually gaze and say, "hold that pose! Don't move!"
I really need to get rid of our baby play gear. But MAN that shit makes for some great pics!
While I keep hoping my babies don't grow up.
**p.s. If you are counting, I might have used shit way too many times in this post. My bad.**

Would it be possible for me to send my peeps to your place? I need them to come home with no paint on them, okay? And some kind of artwork that doesn't frighten me. Will you improve the girl's upper body strength and help the boy be just a little less weird?
Yes? Great.
Posted by: Wendy Koster | 08 June 2012 at 07:42 AM
We went to the craft store the other day and bought all kinds of $1 items. The clearance section didn't have anything good. :( And then she took the stuff home and opened it all right away. What am I going to do next week?
Love the pictures...
Posted by: a | 08 June 2012 at 08:18 AM
That shit is fantastic! And sometimes a word just works.
Posted by: DawnA | 08 June 2012 at 12:40 PM
Holy crap, I want to go to Michael's right now and stock up on crap. I'm nearly out of crap. I'm suddenly a soon to be stepmom of two little boys and they love any craft project. And what is this Monster High you speak of? I'd gladly accept anything other than the current and never ending Green Lantern/Iron Man/Batman nonsense.
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