dog days of summer

I can't believe summer is almost over. Well, we have about three weeks left and I'm so sad. I absolutely LOVE having my girls around. I know I'm not the norm here... Even if Monster High is so fucking rampant in this abode and I want to barf!  I think I could manage a few more months of Monster play.

We sent "the note" via email to their school (because I am a total chicken shit vs face-to-face....) saying they won't be returning and we will be enrolling them in our local public school. (With all of the volunteering and subbing, I/we were treated as I thought we would be. Nary a forethought. and you are???...???....)  I think I am more scared of this change than they are. Part of me wants to home school them to have more control but then again, I'm not sure I would do the best job in their edumacation if they hung around here day in and day out. I can see us having our laundry and ironing caught up, the best fattening recipes replicated from tutorials by Giadia and Ina, samplings from EVERY restaurant in Oklahoma during our lunch hours, as well as being the number one 'hit' on You Tube for Monster High how-to videos. Because it does seem to be a fucking free-for-all-around here with imagination.

I'm wondering if it is possible to let your children to have "too much imaginative" time to themselves.

When I hit fourth grade, I knew there was no Santa. I knew about sex because of bathroom conversations and a quite candid conversation with my mother about the "Joy of Sex." I knew if I spoke about my obsession with my Barbies? I would be totally on the outs with my fellow class men.

My fourth grader? Is really clueless about this reality.  She actually came into my bathroom with massive joy and crazy energy telling me that her FROGGY! was laughing and mocking her. The stuffed animal she has had since she was three-months-old. is.laughing.at.her.and.mocking.her.

I must say I wasn't too receptive at first as I was hiding my junk on the toilet for a moment of peace with my US Magazine. Then I started dissecting her words and started to really worry. You see, there is a massive instability and mental health clause haunting us in our family lineage. Mainly mine. I started wondering, does she really think this inanimate object is really laughing at her because she was mad at him? or is she projecting? or well, maybe, she's being imaginative?

I asked her if she REALLY thought this thing was laughing at her and she answered stoically, "yes, he was." and then she ran away from the conversation. SHIT! How the fuck do you respond? 

My worst fear is she's slowly going  fucking crazy and my family history is really starting to rear it's ugly glimpsing head in my/her  mirror. Then?  Part of me thinks, man, you should really be forcing more multiplication tables on her ass. 

I have to say, we have totally embraced the whole be a kid and discover your inner-child thingy-majig this summer. I mean, what dad would go to such extremes as to Photo-Shop this scenario for his girls? I poo-poo it while asking them to clean up after themselves because I don't have the time to be creative any longer.  Though to be honest, I was the kid who made Barbie rooms out of beading from Indian beading kits and homemade furniture out of any piece of cardboard I could find because we were poor and because I was an only child.  I would spend hours creating intricate furniture and album collections from junk mail and well, I turned out okay. Well. Sort of. Okay, so I don't have a DSM IV indication behind my name. Just yet.

My biggest fear is other than having a child die (check!), one of my children will turn out crazy like my family. I LOVE fostering creativity because in a world of video games and mechanical break-downs, our children aren't capable of solving problems through their most beautiful resource, their brains. 

I'm just wondering if we have gone too far to the other side. Both Rich and I are creative. We can bedazzle the shit out of a bird feeder or create the best virtual playhouse with the best of them. Do we deliver? Not really because quite honestly, we are very lazy people.  I think our problem happens to be, life has gotten in our way of fulfilling our dreams. Maybe we are leaning too far to the side that it might/is disabling our kids because of our short-comings.

Maybe, I have to bring my anxiety full-circle and realize while their personalities have been formed by the age of five, they were not full of schedules and inconsequential shit.  Their formative creative selves have an even shorter shelf life. I want them to remember that they had a full and robust childhood given their "formative" childhood was riddled with tragedy.

I want them to remember, man, " Can you believe I had such a crazy obsession with Monster High? Do you think my kids would get a kick out of these freaky-ass dolls?"or maybe, I should worry that we are all going crazy and I should be doing some pre-planning for our house in the hills where we can all dream, explore and fly our freak flags for all not to see.

 

 

Comments

[Danielle (elleinadspir)]

Fly that flag high and with pride. Your girls are creative and imaginative and amazing. We all have a bit of crazy. I fear the "too much crazy" too...but all we can do is manage it. We all have a bit too much at some points in our life right? And if there is too too much there....then we will all cross that bridge when we have to. Btw, that line about the freak flag...love when she says it in The Family Stone.

[Rio]

I think the only mental illness you are currently seeing/experiencing is from the school you are leaving :)

[Andrea]

I think your fourth grader and mine would be a match made in heaven.
While my 9 year old stepson is matter-of-factly telling me why my (joking/sarcastic/wildly exagerrated for hilarity) comments are completely wrong and impossible, my 9 year old son is putting long johns on under his boxer briefs and running through the house being Superman.
I'm trying desperately to stay in camp "creativity and imagination are healthy and beneficial!"
They'll be fine. Surely. :)

[a]

My girl's stuffed animals are mean to her and to each other. My husband is crazy. I don't worry about it too much. Some of it MUST be due to being a girl. Creative and imaginative is good. It may go too far sometimes, but if you can reel them back in and have some "let's get a grip on reality" moments, it'll be fine.

[Stacey]

I think it's awesome she told you her frog was bitching at her! We often, without meaning to, force our kids to grow up too quickly. I think she was trying to be funny as well. I wish objects in my house would start talking to me....I need the conversation.

I still think you should give the homeschooling a whirl, btw. :::wink:::

[Julie]

I must tell you that when I was probably around her age I had to sleep with all of my stuffed animals because I didn't want to hurt any of their feelings by picking only one or two. I'm not crazy at all, well hardly but it really isn't noticeable to strangers or people who pass me on the street.
We may be coming to OKC early this week. THe older step-son, husband, 14 month old and me. I will let you know. Maybe we can do a meet and greet.

[Amy]

I didn't know a single thing about sex till I was like in 8th grade. When I was in 4th grade, my imaginary friends and I were in full conversation mode. Don't fret about your 4th grader, please. I am now a professional artist ... I had the most amazing, care free childhood ever. Even with a family of wackos. Let your girls be who they are. Let them shine on in all their imaginary glory!!!! The world ahead of them is already wacked out with real life wackos!!! They will catch up when it's their time. :) EMBRACE IMAGINATION!!!!

[Tonya]

I so get worrying about the mental health of our children. Ugh. Anxiety abounds around here. Thankfully, we come and go and right now things are good, although school starting TOMORROW may change that. I am like you, I'm sad that they have to go. As crazy as they may make me, I like having my babies at home.

As for your school situation, I can assure you that if your new one is anything like my public school, they'll be so thankful that you are willing to be there and help, they'll treat you and your kids like queens. I am pretty much faculty at our elementary school, and much loved. ( How can you not love a fool who pretty much works for free?!)

I hope you have a smooth transition. We love our little public school. Would our kids be more sheltered at the local private school? Sure, but that's not the right choice for our family and it has not a thing to do with finances. Homeschooling sure isn't right for us as mama staying semi sane is a good thing. ( I'm even a certified teacher...give me other's kids and I'll teach them. Just not my own!)

[heather...]

It's so fucked up that I snorted when you said, "CHECK!"

[Ninabi]

Enjoy the creativity- I think there are too few people in this world with such a gift.

I hope the change of schools is a positive, happy one. Sometimes change is such a catalyst for growth.

We made so many military moves that I crave a good shakeup every few years even though we've lived in the same town now for 7 years. As an Air Force friend put it, "Sometimes you just use up all the joy in a place and it's time to move on."

Enjoy the coming school year with all its adventures. Your girls are awesome.

[180360]

She is not even close to crazy. I can't wait to see how things pan out at the new school! If all else fails, we can all move to some commune together where we homeschool, grow food and distill our own vodka. Sounds good to me!

[Rita]

Pleeeaaaassseee don't make her stop playing Monster High and imagining with her stuffed frog. There are far too many nine year old fourth graders donning pushup bras, highlighted hair, make up and chatting on their Iphones while listing to "Blow my Whistle baby". Let her relish and roll in being a kid, as long as she can. I guarantee you she isn't crazy. And I so know where you are coming from, there, as the sister of not one, not two, but 3 schizophrenic siblings. That has been my own personal boogie man. So I totally understand your fears. But a child playing happily with her little sister and mom, who knows she is loved and is creative, imaginative and smart and most of all, acts her age, that is not a sign of mental illness. It is a sign her parents are doing something right.

[baidu censor]

Other countries censor content and not just rogue regimes such as the Iranian mullocracy. Poor people! http://www.baidu.com