I went to dinner with a friend last night. I had a couple skinny girl margaritas and a salad. I have to say, thinking about food differently is so freaking hard. I started a little over a week ago walking, eating healthier or not eating and totally limiting the vodka and I have lost 9.5lbs. I'm wondering what I should do to reward myself when I hit the 10lbs weight loss mark. Facial? Divorce? A drink-fest?
Speaking of a drink-fest, while dining out last night a dude sat down at the table across from us in the bar. He talked the WHOLE meal on his phone. Please tell me this is a pet peeve of yours as well because I would like to cut people arms off their bodies when they do this in public.
Any who, when my friend and I looked at him awhile later, we noticed this:
Picture is kinda blurry because I was trying to take this on the sly. This my dears is a cup of boiling hot water with his silverware detoxing in it.
If you find this odd than check this out:
This chick happened to be sitting at the bar drinking and eating chips. Next glance she's over at this dude's table giving him a happy ending to his enchilada platter. She finished, smiled and walked out the door.
When I returned home from my dinner, I received this on my phone.
Dude, this world is getting stranger and stranger by the minute.
I totally hope the person who sent this picture isn't trying to tell me something. Like he/she has put a hit on me or more likely, my husband because I'm fully aware and paranoid I will be killed at any second for my obsessive use of the word "fuck" or because I don't clean my bathroom enough.
Is it a full moon soon? or am I a magnet for weird shit?
This very well may be your most hilarious post ever. Or close to it.
Posted by: Lildanes | 29 August 2012 at 09:27 PM
woah! dieting like 3 weeks now and only lost 4lbs. My mom (the woman who had me on diets from age 11 on) always told me it was harder to lose, the older you get. Of course she was right. bitch.
anyhoo, Congrats! I vote manicure. I realize this was not a choice but facials give you zits (in my experience), Divorce makes you sad, and drink fest won't help the weight loss goal. Manicures make you feel pretty and pampered, which you deserve :)
p.s. It is almost a full moon
p.p.s. you also might be a magnet for weird shit, but I am too, so you are not alone!
Posted by: Tracy | 29 August 2012 at 09:58 PM
Congrats on losing the weight! I would go more for a pedicure than a manicure, but that's just me.
I have NEVER seen anyone boil their silverware at a restaurant. Why not just bring your own if you are that paranoid. AND, if you think the place is so dirty that you need to boil the silverware why would you eat the food?
Posted by: Julie | 30 August 2012 at 09:41 AM
Awesome work on the weight loss! I would reward myself with food, but that seems a bit counter-productive.
How annoyed would you be if you were the person on the other end of the guy's phone call? Hearing people eat is annoying, let alone eating while talking.
and yes, there are two freakin' full moons in August. The next one is tomorrow. Kill me now. On-call + full moon = hell. Maybe I can be my own client.
Posted by: Gamanda | 30 August 2012 at 11:13 AM
Magnet for weird shit, definitely.
;-)
Posted by: sizzle | 30 August 2012 at 11:48 AM
Way to go on your weight loss. People on their phone drives me crazy. Boy that dude sounds weird for sure! I walked into a postal store to mail a package. The woman was on her cell phone and waved at me to hand her the package. I said "That's okay, I'll wait until your off the phone!" Where is the customer service? Happy to hear you got out with a friend.
Posted by: Debby Pucci | 30 August 2012 at 12:11 PM
Talking on the phone in a restaurant bugs me as much as people who don't use their turn signals when I ride my bike!
Did you google that phone number the creepy picture came from?
Posted by: M | 30 August 2012 at 08:52 PM
Looks like a full moon here tonight. I hope that lady knew the guy. The talking on the phone is annoying in a restaurant...except I don't really mind if the person is eating alone.
The gun thing is just plain weird...
Congrats on the weight loss though!
Posted by: a | 30 August 2012 at 09:49 PM
Sanitizing silverware? I have never seen that-or a random person giving massages in a bar. Well, maybe I have seen that...Anyhow. Congrats on the weight loss!
Posted by: elz | 30 August 2012 at 10:32 PM
Dude, that is a lot of weird stuff in a short amount of time.
PS. I am so happy to hear about the health changes. I'd prob drop 10lbs if I stopped drinking so much wine. ;) Miss you!
Posted by: 180360 | 31 August 2012 at 06:34 AM
My head is spinning....would have loved to have been at dinner with you!
Posted by: Snow | 31 August 2012 at 10:11 AM
Congrats on the weight loss! You don't mention what you're doing, except "thinking differently" and exercising/no vodka. Have you read "Why We Get Fat" by Gary Taubes, or "Wheat Belly" by Dr William Davis? Those books are awesome. A low carb/high fat way of eating is great for losing weight and improving your health--it has also been shown to improve fertility. You don't even need to exercise for weight loss, but if you are insulin resistant, or pre-diabetic, it will help your body use insulin better (look up HIIT--high intensity interval training). "Sugar Nation" by Jeff O'connell is a great book too. Doing low carb/high fat has allowed me to finally get off hypertension meds, arthritis painkillers, GERD meds....All these years I was doing what the various health agencies said to do (whole grains, low fat, etc) and my weight kept going up, my blood pressure went up, my arthritis got painful, my GERD became too frequent. Now I enjoy butter, coconut oil, bacon, roasted chicken skin, cheese, cream in my coffee....nothing low fat for me ever again. Also trying to do away with wheat entirely. That's harder, but it will be worth it. Check it out!
Posted by: TracyKM | 31 August 2012 at 01:07 PM
I simply can not eat out and lose weight. I applaude you your weight loss!
Have you found SkinnyTaste.Com yet? She has yummy low fat/low calorie recipes that are all delish. She even has the occasional cocktail!
Posted by: M&Co. | 31 August 2012 at 03:00 PM
If someone sent me a picture of a gun on my phone I've shit 9 pounds in 2 hours.
Definitely, there's strange stuff going on all around you. Entertaining strange, to be sure. Most meals out where I live are sadly devoid of characters to amuse me while I eat.
And major congratulations on the weight loss. I'm impressed.
Posted by: Ninabi | 01 September 2012 at 08:15 PM
oh. my. gosh. it was a full moon... a blue moon in fact
If he didnt know her he was probably freaking out about a stranger giving him the rubdown..... weird...
the gun pic would scare the crap out of me
I wanna lose 10lbs... actually more but 10 is my short term goal... I neeeeeed to get off my lazy ass though...
Congrats!
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Posted by: shanghai escort | 05 September 2012 at 12:35 AM
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Posted by: Rach | 20 September 2012 at 05:35 PM