adventures in babeland

This would be a picture of my girls trusting in our decisions for their future.

or not.

Don't think I wasn't singing some stupid Katy Perry song here......... because I was seemingly trying to ease them into the bump and grind of the elevator shaft to the top of the arch. The St. Louis Arch that is...

I really just wanted to tell them, shit, I feel the same way about making decisions for them.

Scared.

I feel like I am 16 trying to make them feel comfortable when I'M supposed to be the one in charge. Can I share with them I don't feel quite capable and confident in guiding them? Probably not. Instead, we forge forward to another adventure where we cry, gripe and wipe our brow that we made it through another incident without passing out. I call this good parenting that no one died or passed out.

Namely me.

Has anyone walked those motherfucking stairs to the top of the ARCH? Because, HOLY HANNA, I was looking for the handicapped ramp but instead, my fat quivering ass climbed each and every one, trying to look calm and control while thinking, I want to cut the person who made this damn, "Gateway" for all to come, see and master. Because I'm barely mastering your fucking 96 steps to the top.

WHEW!

WE MADE IT!

We finally set off for adventures in babe-land on Thursday morning. We conquered massive feats at the St. Louis Arch. Hence, their I'm going to pee my pants in this fucking egg to this top photo op.

Do you see us waving at you from the heavens? Probably not because I was the one making sure I didn't make a fool of myself while rolling down the arch from lack of inner-ear balance. Man, it really is hard playing like you have your shit in check whileyour kids are looking to you for guidance. Instead, I laugh, cajole and cheer our/my fear of heights. Thankfully I didn't roll down 60 feet of steel and metal. Because THAT would be awkward.

Instead, we ended the evening out with friends, food and water play.

I don't think Moira looks like she is ready for a dance-off in a bad 80's music video where flames and guitar solos shoot forth it's loins of majestically awesomeness, do you?

Nope. Not at all. 

Thankfully, she is a shy little flower.

Since I'm the laziest bitch known to man, I'll share the rest of our travels at a later date. Only to let you know that tomorrow the girls start a new school in which I became the Jan Brady of all committees and clubs. 

I say this because this is what Rich named me as I signed up for homeroom parent on meet the teacher day at the girls new school. and because I was sweating Vodka out of my pores from staying up until 3am to do laundry when we arrived at 12:30am from our long cross-country travels. and also because I JUST had to know what was going on in Big Brother-land.

Next up? I'll share the first day of school as well as my keen sense of money-finding skills in which I may or may not have found $40 on the streets of Chicago and was set up in having to teach a lesson of finders-keepers, losers weepers or return money to someone who didn't have their name engraved on the bills.

....and scene....

nevermind, yes, I kept the dough.

because the mean streets of Chicago are quite expensive.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Comments

[a]

I've been up in the Arch several times, and I do not really remember any steps. Guess they rely on the trauma of those tin can death traps (i.e. the elevator cars) to wipe out the memory of stairs. It's still pretty cool - especially if no one passes out.

Finding money on the streets of Chicago? Awesome!

Can't wait to hear how the new school goes...

[Andrea]

haaaa!!!! 2/3 of our party had the EXACT same look on their faces when we went up in the arch. It was like 115 degrees that day, and when we got to the top we were trapped with a large group of really lovely amish folk (they do not believe in deodorant, oh no they don't.) Glad you had a time, can't wait to hear about the rest.

[Kristabella]

Come back to Chicago! I miss you and your family!

[H]

One more arch visitor here - and I did not enjoy it one bit, not one bit at all. Not the ride up there, not the swaying feeling, not the view, not the low ceiling that made me crouch and not the ride back down. As a matter of fact, when I was at the top, I was hoping with desperation that someone would announce a different, safer, more enjoyable ride down. I'm glad you had a great time otherwise!

[Tracy]

I love the picture of the girls. I love this post. Best of luck to them at their new school! They will do great! Can't wait to hear about it :)
-Tracy
p.s. I am the same Tracy as before just had to change my email address. (lost the old one)

[Tonya]

Scared or not, those are some pretty girls! I can't wait to hear about school.

No arch for me. No way, no how. Bleh. The St. Louis Zoo is more my speed.

[Elizabeth]

Moira's look was my look, 30 years ago when I was 5, at that very place, I hated the Arch. Once we got up, I was even more scared to go down.

[Tiffany]

Went to Arch in April.. loved the view, but the ride up was stupid ridiculous, I thought the egg on the other side of the museum was a picture hut thing, until the hubs corrected me.. I was pissed that I actually agreed to go up;)

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