They make me cry

Last night before bed, Celia, chose to share with me her deep and personal thoughts from her Monster High pre-hormonal diary. 

"Oh, No!  You don't need to share or tell me what is in your diary. It is a safe place for your thoughts and feelings. I've been told and taught it is grand therapy for our souls to write and journal when you are both happy and sad."

"Ah, okay.  Anyway, Mama, I want to share it with you. Please!?!?" 

"Okay If you are sure....."

"I, Celia Myers, love my new school, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, SO MUCH! Please don't make me go back to that other school ever again. My new school is nice and they are nice to me. They don't make you feel bad about yourself at all."

{cue ugly cry face. MY ugly cry face.}

Today after school, this piece of paper showed up in her back pack.

Regardless if she is new or if she is the only one who doesn't talk in her class, I choose to believe she was the first in her class to receive this because she is simply fucking awesome.

 

{cue my ugly cry face.}

 

Since I'm totally bragging because man this schooling shit has been a fucking hard road since inception, I want to share the last part of our Chicago trip with you. This is where the more bragging part comes in. The lovely and wonderful, Allison, born and bred Chicagoan, offered to capture our girls trip to Chicago.  I'm having a hard time figuring out where your link is to your site, Allison! Help!

She took time out of her Sunday morning and met us at the Chicago Art Institue grounds. I could not have asked for a more lovely and sweet person who picked the perfect place for my girls portraits.

After opening up the pictures on Saturday, I busted out bawling because I'm an emotional mess.

Moira asked why I was crying when I watched the slide show the first time (and hell, the 10 subsequent times thereafter.) My garbled remark resembled something akin to, "because you girls are so beautiful and your beauty makes my heart hurt."

Another part of me was quite sad though I didn't admit it to anyone else. This is the first professional gathering since Moira was One. God, I suck as a parent.  and well, to be brutally honest, we were totally missing another family member. Another family member who would have been a fucking pill to control because he would have had too much energy splashing in the water or trampling on the beautiful flowers. Who knows what the actual shoot would have been like because, you know, we will never know. I can't believe there never was or never will be a family portrait with him in attendance.  Who knew I would have missed such a thing.

{again! cue ugly cry face.}

 

Anyway, here is the link. Click slide show, enjoy her beautiful work and weep like I did. or don't. It is probably way healthier for you not to weep.

http://albums.phanfare.com/isolated/uNflcCE2/1/5734781

 

 

Comments

[grace in chattanooga]

Love to you, all of you. I'm happy for your beautiful daughters and that you love them so much. I'm sorry that you will always miss your son. xoxo

[a]

It is amazing what a change of scene can do. I hope Celia continues to love her school - and that Moira loves it too. And, how depressing that her old school made her feel bad about herself. Both your girls are beautiful. I hope you tell them that the internet loves them. :)

[a]

I also think it's slightly unlikely that you will ever feel like you have a complete family portrait. That's OK - that's how it goes. I wish it were different, but there's no reason to avoid the photos. I gotta say, though...you sound more wistful than outright sad right now. And that is an improvement.

[Kenna]

I may not have wept, but I will agree those were some awesome photos!

And Celia? That is fucking awesome, :). (do not use my exact words should you choose to share with her! Ha!)

[Bev]

Amazing how things work out, worries or not. I'm glad the new school is working out.

[Julie]

I am so so so so so so so so so glad that Celia loves her school and the people there. I am so so so so so so so so so glad that she is making friends and that everyone is nice to her. I am also so so so so so so so so so glad that she won that award. Also, as a teacher I can tell you that she was most likely given that award because she earned it. She was more likely than not helpful to the teacher, kind to the other students, obedient and cheerful about learning and was never mean or unkind to anyone.

[mommabird2345]

I'm so happy for all of you that the new school was a great move! Those are amazing pictures!

[Sandi]

Oh my heavens. Well, I am bawling, too, because I am so happy that your daughter is happy in her new school! Parenting is so damn hard and it really is so stressful when you child is not happy in school. I KNOW this from experience.
The pictures are awesome. I am glad it is you that is choosing your favorites to print haha, I could never pick. I do love the b/w one where they are in the water. Too cute.

[Becki]

Weeping is healthy. JESUS WEPT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[candice]

Wow...that is one of the most beautiful family photo shoots I have ever seen! You have gorgeous babies!! Yes, little T is missing, that is so sad. I can just picture him there frolicking with his sissies. He will always be part of your family, captured in family portraits, or not.

[Betsey Hurtado-Lemay]

I am so happy for you and your girls that their new school is working out great for them!!

[Danielle (elleinadspir)]

yep....totally tear inducing. so sweet.

[Erin]

Those are beautiful pictures of beautiful girls!

[Jen B]

WOW! Those photos are spectacular. Your girls are BEAUTIFUL!!

[Kristabella]

That is awesome! Although, all I kept thinking about as I read this was Monster High. And the cast of characters I now know all about thanks to your kids! :)

[TUWABVB]

I'm so happy to hear about the school situation! And those pictures were amazingly beautiful - thank you so much for sharing!! Your daughters are just perfect.

[Gamanda]

You must be so relieved with your decision to change schools. I am so glad Celia is loving it there and can blossom as herself. It makes my heart smile that she can now smile at school.
The girls are gorgeous. Those pictures were amazing and really captured them, their personalities. You should be proud.
I'm so sorry Thalon wasn't there to be a terror and make the shoot more difficult than it should be. Nothing can give you those amazing pictures or memories. Always thinking of you and him wishing the world wasn't filled with what-ifs.

[Sizzle]

I say celebrate the tears. It only shows how deeply you love and feel. It catharsis.

[M&Co.]

You do have beautiful children!

[Betsy]

Beautiful Girls and a Beautiful family!

[Debby Pucci]

How wonderful for Celia to be thrilled in her new school. She definitely seems happy! The photos are absolutely amazing. The girls are adorable!

[Jenny Starley]

You're kids are adorable!

[Ashley]

Beautiful pictures - the third one from the end/black and white/girls holding hands - THATS my favorite!!!!
The fam pic is great, too! Thanks for sharing!!

I am so so so so happy she is enjoying her school. and it sucks that the other school made her feel so bad... but she is doing well now and thats what matters!!

We're thinking of going to Chicago in Oct. Where did you guys stay - anything you'd recommend?

[DawnA]

Wow those are amazing. The one with them sitting back to back is seriously adorable.

[M]

Now I have the ugly cry face! Lovely post, beautiful pictures. I'm so glad your girls are having a good experience in their new school. It's so important. xo

[Pat Johnson]

Your girls are simply beautiful....

[Tonya]

Beautiful girls! And I'm so happy they love school. :)

[Jennifer]

That was a gift! Sometimes it's hard to know whether or not a big move like that was a good thing or not. I think you can be assured that this was a freaking awesomely good thing for Celia. I got all verklempt just reading that myself.

And your pictures are wonderful-even if it was bittersweet. Your girls will be so glad that you had family portraits done.

[Snow]

Yippee, Celia! What an awesome way to start the school year at her new school!

Blessings for a peaceful and beautiful Fall with your gorgeous family.

[Issa]

awwwwww I'm so happy that she loves school again. Or finally.

[heather...]

The pictures of them hugging...god damn it.

[Linda]

I am so glad that the new school is working out! We had some school issues too and I really felt your pain.

Your girls are beautiful, and those certainly are lovely photos.

[Kristin]

You know me and how we pulled our kids from Catholic school too? We emailed about the lack of math in 3rd grade, group punishment and so forth?

My son is SO HAPPY. No stomachaches in the morning. No dragging. You probably do understand the feeling when you realize what your kid looks like happy with school and realizing how bad it was that you overlooked it all.

The other kid pulled from the Catholic 3rd grade (actually there was a mass exodus from the entire school) is at the same public school with mine. I called his mom after first day and asked how TJ had done. His response to her after the first day of school? "It was great mom. No one was mean to me all day!"

Ugh.

[Niki S]

WOW. Your girls blow me away- they are stunning. (Thank you for dressing them in shorts that cover their arses. They look awesome!)

[Allison F.]

Lady - I have never had anywhere close as many people visit my website as they have for your girls!!! WOW!!!
Thanks for the publicity...I loved every minute I spent with you guys, wish I could have gone to Scooters with you too!
Here is my website if anyone is in Chicagoland or coming soon!
www.allisonfonsecaphotography.com

[180360]

AWWWW!!! I can totally see/hear Celia saying this. :) I am so happy to hear that it is going well. She deserves it! PS. Cute pics too.

[Amy]

You have such beautiful girls. And congratulations on the Citizen award!