duty, you said doody.

In the past week, I have gone and had my hair cut and colored again....

I call this color "Ch-ch-ch-ch cherry bomb!"  This picture doesn't look quite as chroma as it does in real life and well, I'm not sure I can handle "Devil Red...."  Yep, I think she said that was the color on the tube. That'll teach me to go to a new salon where all of the roller derby chicks go to be coiffed.

Because I am so alternative and crazy...

I attended a funeral for a friend's mother (shit, this was sadder than words),eaten way too much pizza, hung out with friends

while we let our kids hang their freak flags out in full mast.....

Man, Moira looks like me when I was her age. I would share a pic from the day but sadly, my closet if full-to-the-brim of Christmas gifts and I can't upset the balancing act I have going on in there to humor you. Just know, I am correct in this assumption.

I also had jury duty yesterday. Yippee!!!!

Nothing says love for your common man than wedging your ass between mute men and their iPads. Can I state the obvious of communing with 401 people while shoved in a stale old holding cell?  People smell funky.  Like REALLY FUNKY!!! and leather jackets hold the scent of every sin you can think of....

I did see three people I sorta knew and was pursued by a person named Pat. I shit you not, her name was Pat and she looked like Pat. I know this because they called her name out as Patricia. Now, I have many gay and lesbian friends with whom I have the up most love and respect for...(so don't get your panties in a wad - an occurrence that happens to me about 50 times a day, literally) but if any one of them acted like this chick to another being, I would have to give them a firm talking to on the finer points of picking up a date. 

I would for one would tell them to act coy. Not full-ass stare at their subject for like EIGHT UNCOMFORTABLE HOURS!!! I would also say, give this subject some room. Don't haunch yourself on them, their sweater and their bad, trashy book.  Nothing makes most subjects crabby than having someone in their personal space.  Next up: don't stalk them at lunch where you follow them EVERYWHERE! including the bathroom, coffee shop, the frigid outdoors. If you are that enamored by their beauty, try to smile and strike up a simple conversation. I mean, I CAN be nice and I was nice because I DO feel everyone should be given a chance but DUDE!!! Her wide-eyed stare freaked me the fuck out. After I was released from having to send someone to the electric chair (though, isn't the chair abolished?), I high-tailed myself to my car where I made sure to look both ways and behind me to make sure I didn't have a follower. Because that is all I need....

Next up? Moira's eighth birthday. Sunday.

and then what would be Thalon's 4th and then onto the end of the world, no? Wouldn't it be righteous if it was?

I could totally handle it. with open arms.....

but I would be so pissed that I had all that Monster High shit in my closet and my girls didn't know that Santa really payed attention this year.

Side note: I would have acted the same way if 'Pat' were a man. It just so happened she wasn't though I would have felt the same way if she were a he. So, please don't think I'm being a bigoted asshole. Because I really am not. For reals. 

P.S.S. Side note: I feel it is quite sad that I can't write what I feel any longer for the fear of offending someone.  If you really knew me in "real time," you would know, I am a far more compassionate and caring individual than it seems and would never purposely hurt someone. Even though I do love the word "fuck." You can use the word is so many creative and awesome ways. Though I do not. Because I lack creativity these days.

P.S.S.S. Sid enote: When did I let anonymous people take away my freedom and voice? Back when my son died? When people judged me for not knowing me?

P.S.S.S.S. Side note: If you ARE anonymous, you do know I know your IP address and where you work, right? Just because your Gmail is bogus doesn't mean shit.  I have skills people! Mad skillz!

P.S.S.S.S.S. Side note: I don't know... I am on a roll and thought I needed to add this last PPPSSS'd to make sure y'all knew I am totally... I don't know... remorseful? For talking about people?   Shit, I am not sure why I care anymore. I hate being thought as a douche-bag. I totally need to go to counseling for this feeling. Yeah, right.

Comments

[Alison]

"...leather jackets hold the scent of every sin you can think of..."

I love this, and if you don't mind, I may borrow it (with attribution, of course).

And I'm with you on the PSS.

[Becki]

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Yes - that is PISSED - and I LOATHE that word.

PLEASE don't let an anonymous troll take away your right to vent and express yourself.

We all are who we are - there are wonderful things about us that we would say "ooooh maybe besties" upon meeting and then the pendulum swings and then "oh so not" when we learn other things and then we calm the heck down and just become - friends with the good and bad. (Like I am probably WAY more conservative than you but I really do think we could have a blast totally hanging out all day watching reality tv, lol.)

Trolls SOLE purpose in life is to make people miserable.

How can you be a douche bag just for venting? We ALL see how tight your family is and how wonderful those girls are!!!

You vanquish a troll by being yourself.

And that's what we like - you yourself.

Though I do hate the f-bomb and have an inkling you LOVE it. . ..lol

:)

[Donna]

Don't worry Shana, I know what you mean. Some people are freaky! Lol

[180360]

Girl, I love you! You crack me up even at 4 in the morning. You will become a douchebag however if you start censoring yourself. And I will vouch that you are the nicest, most thoughtful friend I have! Screw the anonymous losers and the scary Pats alike. Give Moira a big hug from all of us and know we'll be sending our love from across the pond on the 22nd. xoxoxo

[180360]

PSSSSSSSSSS. Your new hair is totally rockstar! You look amazing AND like you've lost weight. :)

[Jen B]

You look fantastic! The color/cut is awesome on you :)

[Heather]

First, your hair is awesome!

Second, "When did I let anonymous people take away my freedom and voice?" DUDE. Fuck those fucking fuckers. There. I used it creatively.

Much love from this anonymous lady.

[Laura]

Love the new do. Screw the haters.

[shan]

You are delightfully hilarious. The end.

[Christina]

Yeah don't change. I mean really? FUCK 'EM. I have never understood why people who do not like what someone has to say on a blog or whatever stick around to read and judge the person. It makes no sense and clearly those people have nothing else better to do than be dickheads.

Love the hair color. Love your honesty. Love the line about the leather jackets. I got called for jury duty. They skipped my number on the first night of a huge murder trail, apparently they found their jurors then cancelled the rest of the month. I feel like I WON LOTTERY!

Anyone staring at me, male or female, would make me break out into hives and send me even deeper into my already deep social anxiety!! HA.

[Kristabella]

LOVE your hair!

And who cares about those anonymous haters? We know you're awesome and that's all that matters!

[Sizzle]

You are the least asshole-y person I know. This is your blog and you can say whatever the fuck you want in whatever the fuck language you care to use. I know it's hard to not let the haters get to you. Anonymous commenters can go fuck themselves. I've had a sampling of that BS and it's awful.

You're a gem. Your hair is super hot. No wonder Pat was so enamored. ;-)

[Billie]

Love you, love your hair!

[April]

Please don't worry so much. I think you're nice! And so does Pat - so that's two of us. We win.

[a]

I like your new hair! And the pictures of the girls are adorable...

What else is jury duty good for if not for giving you new stories about the state of human kind? I have no doubt that you were more friendly and pleasant to Pat than her odd behavior would have generated from anyone else.

I believe there are a couple states that might still fire up the electric chair if necessary...but, I'm not 100% certain, so don't quote me. :)

[Kathryn Harter]

This is some funny stuff. I love your blog AND you look gorgeous!! Love the hair, makes me want to cut bangs.

[Georgia]

Please be your complete self here as it is what makes reading you so great. Also, your hair looks fabulous and the bangs are hot! Signed, Not Pat

[Nanette]

Looooove the new 'do!

[Jennifer]

PPPPPPSSSSSSSSSSSSS your hair looks awesome, and I love your oldest child's sassy pic with the girls.

PPPPPSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS I couldn't agree more with "Anonymous commenters can go fuck themselves"

[Linda]

You rock the hair cut and color. The bangs frame your face beautifully.

Fuck the anonymous haters and embrace the anonymous admirers! (I'm positive we outnumber the haters.)

[Jill]

LOVE LOVE LOVE the new hair! Its so....you! Sassy, sleek, playful, witty and did I mention, utterly KICK ASS??? Screw the haters, serve 'em up a big ole cup of shut the hell up juice and get back to being YOU. :)

[Brenda]

Shana, your hair looks FAB!!!!! Love the colour and the style.

And continue to love reading about the Buns household.....don't you dare stop being you.

Use the F* bomb all you like, I'm a fan too!

Not anonymous, from Canada,

Brenda

[Brenda]

....and you forced me to go and google the Pat skits from Saturday Night Live from years ago.

Now I have the visual of PAT trying it on with you....and my day is complete.

Brenda

[Snow]

Love Celia's beveled leg in your photo...what a natural! She is all set for her future Homecoming and Prom photos!! Amazing how many young ladies do not know how to stand while wearing a dress, posing for pictures!

PS: Rocking that new hair!

[DawnA]

Hair is AWESOME! And kiddies are adorable as usual.

[Gamanda]

Quit apologizing. You said nothing wrong here. Hell, if it were a male Pat, everyone in the comments would be jumping on board to talk about what a creep he is and how you don't deserve to be stalked (semi-harassed) at jury duty. Fuck. That really is a universal word. I love it.
If the end of the world does come, I don't want to be left behind. I in no way hold the strength that is needed to rebuild society. Nor do I care enough about society to try and start it all over. Sorry Will Smith, no Independence day bullshit for me.

[Bev]

Screw em, I say. Why does anyone read your blog if they find it offensive? The hair is nice, by the way. See you at Target ( or not-- since I know what you look like but you don't know me!)

[Tracey]

No wonder you had a jury stalker...I mean admirer check out your awesome haircut! You look awesome Shana, rock those bangs. You've given me inspiration to get my lazy butt to the hair stylist pronto. You really look beautiful...said in a completely nonPat manner.