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21 February 2013


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I think instead of a mid-life crisis where you get a fast car and hot young thing, women tend toward lethargy and apathy. At least, that's been my experience lately. Oh well, there's always Candy Crush...


I vote pop some popcorn, make some hot chocolate and declare it movie and pajama day. Then you can snooze on the couch and still come out ahead. Isn't that what snow days are for anyway? Hugs to you.


Movie and pj day sounds like a winner! Bake some cookies. Have the girls plan your birthday surprise party and you will need to nap so you don't hear what they are planning!
I think we all have episodes where we feel our lives are not the grand design we had planned. I think you should take a spring break trip somewhere you have never been. Could even be a day trip to somewhere in OK or close. Have the girls help.

Amanda K

I gained a crap load of weight on Lexapro. Zoloft always helped me lose weight until I was diagnosed with narcolepsy and put on ADHD meds. (It works like speed for people who don't have ADHD) I'm the only person in the world that GAINS weight on doctor prescribed speed. UGH.

I agree with a Spring Break trip!


I think this is hitting all of us who are home with kids roughly the same time, the utter meaningless of it all. No solving global problems or making scads of money as the senior vp for us! No, we are trying to figure out what to make for dinner for the eleventy-billionth time and work out how to get that mystery stain out of the carpet. I am convinced it's best for my kids for me to be here, but it's soul-sucking. Find something for you. Train to walk a 5K (no need to go all crazy with that running crap). Mess around with your calligraphy stuff for a day, just a project with no purpose. Go to an art museum, all by yourself. Any way you can get away for a weekend, going to some kind of art workshoppy/retreat kind of thing? That sense of temporary freedom while using your brain can go a long way.


How about a quick trip to Vegas! Couple of wild and fun nights with your hubby, girls can stay home with family or friends. Have fun people watching, go dancing, have a few drinks with paper umbrellas, stay out late or go to bed early..wink, wink!

A change of scenery without kids to help recharge...do it, you deserve it!


When I'm depressed I spend a lot of time thinking about how I should do something but really all that amounts to is making myself feel more like shit and a loser. Being depressed doesn't make one want to anything. Sometimes something will sneak up on you and you'll slowly start coming out of it. Maybe it's taking a class or getting back into an old hobby or taking walks. Who knows? I hope you find it. You deserve to be happy! And 22lbs is a big deal- congratulations.


You should start doing video blogs. Give us a tour of your closet!


Girl, I have been looking at my closet with disgust for at LEAST the last six months. Pat yourself on the back for that purge and for the 22lbs. You are badass. I hate when people give me advice, but I'll do it anyway--do what you need to do to get some time for yourself. Sometimes it really helps to just walk around the neighborhood with music in my earbuds. I look at other people's yards or at my shoes or whatever. But I have to go by myself. Sometimes I just need to NOT be required to interact with anyone for a bit. I don't know if it's the air or the sunshine or the endorphins or what, but taking a walk really does help me most times. Hang in there.


I am jealous - I can't get out of the 30's in Candy Crush Saga. I finally gave up - I'm such a loser.


FWIW, I think you're being way too hard on yourself. Also, hypocrite, thy name is Kris (me, I mean - not the other Kris who left a comment - because I can't give myself a break, either).

But losing 22 pounds is pretty damn amazing from where I sit, and how in the EverLovingChrist did you manage to get to level 60 on Candy Crush?

Also, I had another tongue-in-cheek "Mom's Gone Wild" trip to Vegas booked for myself in May, to basically sit on my ever-expanding butt next to the pool while reading trashy novels. I canceled it because my dad died & I think my marriage is falling apart, but I highly recommend you at least *plan* something like this for yourself. Even though I'm not going to actually go anywhere, it was fun to research hotels & steal my husband's frequent flyer miles.


I read your post and felt so much underneath your words. I have not walked in anyone's shoes but my own, but I have been battling a low grade depression for several years and I feel like I am just finding my way out. I wrote about it this morning http://colleen-lifeasiknowit.blogspot.ca/2013/02/where-did-darkness-go.html

I don't know you. I know only what you write about here. I've been reading your blog for several years and I know only a small part of your journey. But I feel your sadness ...

You have some wonderful comments and suggestions that precede my comment. I hope that you turned your day into a special movie and popcorn day with your girls. But mostly, I hope that you find something that brings you a quiet inner contentment that doesn't burst like a bubble as you try to catch it and hold onto it (been there, done that).

I am just a 'virtual' reader of your blog. But I know it means the world to me to know that someone hears me. So I am just writing to say I'm listening. I wish I could help ....

Be kind to yourself. There are most likely factors at play that you have little control of (in my case, I believe those nasty hormones were playing with my coping abilities??). When I took the blame off myself, it helped. A little.

It can take great energy to keep waking up every day. Some days. I am grateful that you have your vivacious young girls to pull you out of bed each morning. It is one step in the right direction.

Keep looking for your answers ... you truly deserve it. You do.


My kid does virtual school. Thursday was field trip day. So we went to the museum. No one was there. Turns out, they cancel those when the schools are closed. Oh well. It was a nice day at the Oklahoma History Center anyway.


"Dare to be great situation"...isn't that a line from "Say Anything"? :D

I totally feel your lastest blog entry. Been there..that feeling of spinning your tires, and one is flat....

Hope you find that black sparkly great t-shirt soon!

V-Grrrl @ Compost Studios

The good news is...it's not February anymore. February is the month of the Winter Depression Apocalypse. At least it is for me. Telling myself it's March now helps me believe that the worst is over. I hope I'm right!


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