This weekend I caught up on my newest obession, Naked and Afraid. Have you seen this show?
photo courtesy of Discovery Channel:Naked and Afraid. Just in case. I don't wanna get sued.
Thrill-seekers (one male and one female,) who self-proclaim themselves as Survivalists (some are actually trained,) go into a hostile location such as Borneo, Africa or some other forsaken place, drop trou and walk around acting as if they are clothed with some stranger they've never met. Of course the men are macho whiny-asses and the women have to save their asses the whole time. Sounds like the first year of marriage to me.......They get to bring along one survival item such as a knife, a pot to boil water in or as one douche-bag brought, a pair of goggles, to aid them in their surviving the elements.
Now, I can see how one would want to get all gung ho about surviving with THE MOST DEADLIEST of snakes in the world or wrestling alligators for fun and games but to do these actions naked? HELL TO THE NO!! I mean, let's face it, I would freak the hell out over insects trying to bury themselves in my who-ha while trying to make sure my ass didn't smell like, well, ass. The only plus side I could see to this adventure would be the 40 pounds lost due to dehydration, food loss and running from my partner who is threatening to kill me with his survival machete because I pissed him off with my nasty disposition. Let me just say, when I get hungry? I am totally more dramatic and mean than those people in those Snickers commericals.
Personally, I would rather go on Big Brother where the worst offense to my delicate sensibilities would be me squeezed into a lycra and spandex bodysuit while dangling off of a swinging hot dog and eating slop a.k.a. oatmeal while dealing with clothed assholes. Let me tell you, NO ONE looks that good naked. I tell you, NO ONE!