I have corresponded with you a couple of times through your website. I am writing
you today to
ask some questions about the grief counseling process in OKC. I
have a friend whose child died unexpectedly last week.......
Also, please know that if any of this is too painful for
you, please feel
free to delete my email forever as I really do not want to
Here is what I know: this family's baby was born premature,
pretty suddenly and without any warning last week. The family is
on soonercare and has limited resources for counseling. Here are my
Did you use counseling or psychotherapy of any kind?
Was your therapy helpful?
Did you use and/or do you recommend any support groups?
Is there any counselor or therapist who should be actively
Do you know of any low cost behavioral health resources? (I have
some ideas on this front, but if you have any personal experiences, I trust
I am so very sorry about your friend's loss. I truly hate to hear about
another baby dying. I tend to get panicky when I think about the whole
concept. Good, bad and ugly.
Thank you for thinking of me/us. While I don't think I am an expert on
death/grief, I guess I know a
little about it. What I have learned that
grief and death are so personal it
is quite hard to comprehend what another
is going through even if you have
experienced this situation/emotion. I
have found this to be true even in my own family when my sister-in-law's son
died this past year. While I can
empathize, I will never truly understand
her grief, like I don't understand
my husband's. We all grieve in the
strangest times and in the strangest
ways. We really shouldn't be held
accountable for our actions. to an
I know Calm Waters does great things for people and families
grieving. We did not take part of their services as I chose to grieve out
loud and well, quite openly. Much too openly. Fortunately and unfortunately, I had taken
many classes and programs about Death and Dying and Counseling.
I knew what to do in light of death but, even with the knowledge, I did an
epic failure in my grace of it all. Dr. Sharon Mullins is an excellent
counselor, who uses Cognitive Behavioral therapy with children. I only know
of one colleague named, Sheila Sizemore, of whom I would trust my confidence
to as well as my sanity to. I did not use her (because I know her) but we
studied together and I have friends who use her with very positive
I chose to not use the traditional therapy routes. Many chastized
me for my methods. I will be the first to admit, anything I said and/or did
for the first two years was pure wackiness. I'm okay with it. I chose to
write because in therapy, you learn to journal your feelings, emotions and
events. I chose to live my experiences out loud. Very unflatteringly, I must
say. But.... it was and is very geniune and real.
I do not regret a thing I said or did. It was true emotion. Once it
was out in the nether-lands, it was released.
As to answer your
question about non-profit, I think Calm Waters is
a great non-profit who really does so much good for the WHOLE FAMILY.
Again, I am NOT an expert and if
anyone can add to this, they should. I just
know what I did today. It seems
fruitless to try to explain four + years of
grieving in a three paragraph
response. I hope I answered you and if I did
not, please feel free to ask
away. I am not offended nor think I'm all that
I am one person (of many) who has had a child die. I did not lose him. He died.
It sucks, it's fucked and I'm
still pretty angry but I'm living. For my family. This all
that ANYONE could ask one to do.:_)
Again, I am so very sorry someone else is going through this
again. My heart hurts. You can direct them to me if you would think it would help. It might not and I might be too graphic.
Believe me, I'm not acceptable across the board.:)