Gorillabuns

the usual

This past holiday weekend was filled with the typical fanfare of what one would expect from the 4th of July:

boring-ass parades (oh, GOD!!! How I HATE PARADES!!!),

red, white and blue outfits, hot dogs, hamburgers, the smell of rank onions permeating my brain for days, hot and humid 98 degree weather, friends,

6 white t-shirts (my uniform) and 5 bra changes coupled with six showers from the heat, two parties, a never-ending pool party, more friends,

more food, a 12-pack of "root beer", bubbles,

sparklers, fire works, ass-chewing our rude Rasta-neighbor dude for shooting off a cannon of fireworks at 1:15am (FUCKER!),

crabby children, crabby mom,

with the weekend ending over a huge fight. The subject?  What constitutes Italian food and pseudo-Italian food? For the record, this hormonal bitch DOES NOT think Olive Garden (Denny's by the Prix) is considered edible Italian food.  End of a quite rational discussion.

I do believe I need four days of sleep to recover from the holiday weekend.

How about you? Was your weekend everything you dreamed of and more?

drunk don't look good on me

Let this picture state the obvious:

a) I seriously, SERIOUSLY need to lay off the alcohol. Let's not discuss the bloat around the face, body and hands.....

b) I need to be part of the cast of the next Biggest Loser.

c) When did I find the time or the need to put in a chip clip in my newly shaved hair during our party on Saturday?

d) Rich is wondering how he got so lucky to be with whale of a lush on his 40th birthday.

e) I'm silently thinking to myself, "are our guests loving "Everlong" as much as I am at this moment?"

Let's recap, on Saturday, Rich celebrated his 40th birthday with loads of home-brewed BBQ, alcohol and wonderful friends who came in droves to honor the dude and all his "niceness." SERIOUSLY! This is what everyone has to say about the man who always has a smile on his face. "Gosh, Shana, Rich is just so nice and ALWAYS has a smile on his face!" This is true with everyone he meets - unless he happens to meet you at 7am and well, he might scowl at your mug because, Rich don't do early. As well as his Orca wife. OR if you happen to be his Orca wife at 7am, whichever comes first.

Rich also has a wonderful sense of humor of which, most don't get.

Everyone who greeted him, looked at his socks paired with sandals and sheepishly wondered, "What happened to the skeleton of the cool man I used to know?" The only person who figured out the non-overt joke happened to be the quite late and highly intoxicated ex-boyfriend. This would be MY high school ex-boyfriend. Long story, don't ask. Let's just re-iterate, he was the only one to get the joke.

As the night wore on, all the beer was consumed in record fashion. Like 2.5 hours from a 15 gallon keg. I know, I know, I KNOW! The word "keg" reminds you of all the high school, rut-gut parties you attended while partying in the abandoned cul-de-sac of your youth but really, it was from a local brewery. So....it wasn't Little Kings or Generic crap from our crazy and poor deliquent youth.

After our tap had run dry, a friend and I raided our dusty liquor cabinet. What felt like a good thought at the time...let me just state for the record - shots of nasty, low-grade Tequila (or to-kill-ya) in ramekins are NEVER a good idea.

**The lime? A total prop! I felt I was too good for the lime. However, I didn't feel too good for the copious amounts of Ibuprofen I consumed - some 5 hours later.

What time is it you ask? I think it time for ANOTHER CRAPPY SHOT! Ya think? OH, HELL YES!!! While your at it, combine 2 parts gin, 1 part orange rum with four jalapeno olives to the mix. This is sure to make a salt-lick cocktail freshen and continue to refreshen your breath for the next 12 hours.

What time is it? (Seriously, these pictures were not staged, posed or stuffed for your viewing pleasure.)

IT'S KARAAA-OKE-EEEE TIME!!!!

If you didn't know about our (Rich and my) obsession that has healed many a rift in our marriage, than you really don't know us at all.

EVERYONE waits and BEGS with baited breath for our singing interludes.....

We broke out a few props from our last Halloween outfit:

**The hat and....

my KICK-ASS SHOES, BABY!!!!!

YEP... They still fit!

or perhaps, you find it's way time to capture the essence of your youth while some mighty awesome 80's singing is going on in the house. Don't be a loner, come and join the serenading inside....

But seriously, nary a man, woman, or foul is exempt from our pot-luck sing-a-thons. Nothing says devotion to the craft than two men sing "Almost Paradise," with such intensity and love for their adoring crowd. The lights dimmed and lighters were blazing during the climactic chorus.

In the end, I hope the man of honor, my soul-mate knows, I would move heaven and earth to celebrate his most auspicious life on earth in grand style - as a wonderful father and as my pretty fucking (you know I just had to throw in a cuss word in somewhere, somehow. Yes, I'm so crass like that) awesome husband.

On a very serious note, I can't imagine my life without him and only hope we have an even BETTER birthday celebrating him in ANOTHER 40 years down the road.

I'm quite blessed to have him as my husband. As he is to have me.Because, I'm pretty awesome, if I do say myself.

**Cue the background melodic tunes of God****

">i love them sooo

Bless me Lord for I may have sinned

I may have crossed your threshold with the maximum level of alcohol allowed in a place of worship due to many celebrations centered around plastic eggs, chocolate, family and friends.

Far too many easter eggs hunts were had with children I'm not sure belonged with our clan. Really, I don't know half of these kids.

Wait, I think these chicks belong to me. Here, Celia is scoping out the eggs to edge out the competition. Mainly, her sister.

Later that evening, a last minute get together with out of town friends caused my very painful affliction. Chosing sleep while postponing a visit from the Easter Bunny for later in the day seemed to be the best answer for all concerned.

As you might guess, the Easter Bunny visited sometime after lunch. Because she and her partner in crime, where not organized bunnies for early morning hunting.

**I wonder where she gets her competitive nature from?**

Sadly, Moira is happy with her five eggs found. Her sister was so supportive and giving in letting her "find" this paltry amount.

  I'm not quite sure but me thinks someone is strutting her prowess self. Again, I don't know where she gets this attitude.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I'm going to settle in for a long Spring's nap. A detox of sorts.

love, exciting and new

Who are these two hot young lovers? and where can one go to find themselves one of those awesome crocheted sweaters that I SWEAR will totally be back in fashion quite soon? I'm not even going to touch on the fact - this dude's hair is quite NKOTB'ish. Oh, wait! This picture happens to be Rich and I on our first Valentines Day together.  Exactly 45 days into our burgeoning and tumultuous relationship. Exactly 17 years ago. Man, 17 years sounds like a mighty long time. Actually, we could have a child graduating from high school right now except for the small simple fact - I don't think we had done the dirty deed yet. What got into me to be such a good girl then? Poor Rich, he didn't even get lucky on the most over sensationalized holiday of the year.

Here's to everyone getting lucky in some sort of fashion this Valentines Day. May you not be stuck with the boring chick in the above pic.

eat, drink and be merry

for today is Mardi Gras! and tomorrow begins Lent.

I'm sure I'm going to hell for saying so, but I don't care for Lent. Now St. Patrick's Day is a holiday I can completely embrace. NOT a holiday where you have to give up meat and abstain from something major, like drinking alcohol or swearing.

I'm so not into giving anything up, just like I don't list New Year's resolutions. Why set myself up for failure? I fail enough daily on my own accord.

So tell me, do you give anything up for Lent?