onto a subject i love discussing -- ME!!!

remember my last post? the post where neil suggested we interview someone new and different? i interviewed and mortified sizzle. surely you remember the haphazard questions i asked which most would say were waaayy too personal in nature and considered TMI by the best of interrogators (really, who would these interrogators be? the mafia? the FBI? (sorry sizz, i have no sensor button and for this i apologize!)) what is with all the extra parenthesis? didn't you know i was the queen of the side note? as in extra parenthesis and the illegal use of commas and dashes. if you didn't, get ready - prepare yourself for the onslaught!

anyhoo....well, it's my turn and jill of glossy veneer has taken on the task to interview me. boy do i love talking about myself. it's my favorite subject and one - i'm quite the expert about discussing. what you see is what you get and if given half the chance - i could go on and on and on..... (as in HELL NO! i won't go into group therapy! i don't care about other people's problems! i only care about my own! me droning on about my crappy life...what? my insurance has run out? and group therapy is the only thing i can afford? well, i guess i'm cured. baa-bye!)   

sadly, a true story. damn those pesky insurance companies!

let's the party started!

1. First off, the blog name 'Gorillabuns'.  Where did that come from, story behind the name?

it's really a boring explanation and the name of my blog is one i wish i had the foresight in really thinking through the name before i hit the publish button.

it all started when i was pregnant with daughter #1, i completed a funky email/questionnaire about substituting letters in your name for corresponding words from a list. my name came back as poopsy gorillabuns. when the said child was born - she had a mane like no other. on her back. daughter #2 was born a year later and again, she was born with a hairy back and a mushtasheoo that rivaled any 16 year old boy's budding peach fuzz. rich and i found this quite funny since we ARE SO NOT HAIRY!!! like nary a hair on our bodies - funny.

again, if i had it to do all over again, i would've thought more about my bloggy name if i would have known i was going to hang out so long.

2. Why does your 'About' page not having anything about you?  ;-)

actually, i've had something in the que but you made me realize, i'm entirely too stupid to actually hit "check mark" in the menu to publish my bio. so here's what i wrote for my intro when i was going to blogher - as lame as it might be:

my name is shana, it rhymes with banana.... i have an obsession with ALL makeup hence, the three drawers chock full of goodness and the resulting brain damage from a brutal take down by my irish, catholic babysitter at the tender age of 5. needless to say, revlon's "love that red" lipstick, mascara and coty "powder pink" nail polish do not add to the luster of an old fashioned hardwood floor. i had a major case of shaken child's syndrome which subsequently resulted in my wearing such glitter and gold two days out of the week.

i acquired a fluffy' feel good' art and psychology degree which led to many jobs, like turning bank robbers into the FBI and selling drugs for great pay. i pretty much underachieved in all of my professions - including my current position of parenting.

my life-long goal is to be a private investigator and/+/-/or FBI agent. because? i like to shoot guns.... dirty harriet style. until then, i'll revisit "hannibal" and dissect my drive-way murder scenes comprised of burger king sweet and sour packets spattered upon oxidized metallic paint vehicles and '76 chevy nova oil skids. and yes, these are real crime scenes in my hood (please see old posts for explanations....)

the title of my site is gorillabuns. this namesake is due to my chillin's propensity for hairiness and their abnormally primal behavior.

i have an obsession with cheap watermelon vodka and diet red bull. i am the all-time, kick-ass, crappy karaoke performer. i own such a machine and will sing to my husband in order to have make-up sex and mortify my guests with my lounge-like behavior. beware.....

i'm the ice-breaker of many a friendship, STRONGLY dislike people who drive with cell phones glued to their ears, patrons who don't push their empty shopping carts to the end of the shopping cart line, close talkers, and freaks who stand in my personal space. don't get me started on people who hug me when i'm not cocked and fully loaded.

otherwise, i'm sure, you'd love me. like, really, REALLY love me.

again, maybe i should re-edit this synopsis but alas, i'm too lazy to think of anything more exciting.

3. How long have you been blogging?  What made you start blogging?

i started in 2005. all the crap i wrote for the first year was just that - crap! actually, i might have started earlier but i deleted that crap too. if you make me think about it; i might have to go and delete that whole year and then some, but i'm too lazy to actually go on a witch hunt. who wants to read - testing...1...2...3.... i'm trying to figure out how to post - nothing.....

how i started blogging - i would credit whoorl. she sent me a few links of blogs she happened to read and then a few more over a months time. being the ever frustrated non-practicing artist, i thought i should try my hand at writing - even though i haven't been dedicated enough to write a journal in 10 years. she started a month or so after me and well, the rest is history. she's quite famous now and me? not-so-much.

4. What keeps you blogging?

i like seeing proof - i'm still living and breathing and not dead. (let's not discuss my ever impending birthday next month.)

5. Do you have any specific boundaries on things/information you won't discuss on your blog?

my husband's family. while i think they would make QUITE interesting blogging fodder, i still have to partake in holiday meals with them and i just don't want to deal with that kind of drama.

and yes, i have blogged about them in the past but those stories are long gone with the quick punch of a delete button in the hopes that someone didn't get too bored and type my name in a yahoo search bar.

6. What do you feel is the biggest challenge you face personally each day?

finding money to our bills. watching and waiting for the clock to strike 5 o'clock - cocktail hour!

7. What do you feel is your strongest asset?

the ability to not take myself seriously. i'm a kind and caring friend and actually, a pretty good wife and parent. believe it or not.

8. Let's run through a few favorites: favorite food, drink, color, scent, vacation destination, movie, musician?

favorite food: it's a cross between a plate of cheese fries with bacon, chives and ranch dressing (did i mention i USED to be a vegetarian?) and pesto tortellini with a homemade Caesar salad. (i never said i was a healthy chick.)

drink: need i really answer this? any rot-gut vodka and a diet energy drink additive added to the mix. and diet dr. pepper. breakfast of the gods.

color: black. because it hides my lovely lady lumps.

scent: the smell of my girls' necks - they have yet to acquire stink glands and i spray them down with whatever eau de body spray i can find. (i have a VERY sensitive nose by the way. usually, my snoot let's me know i'm in the family kind of way before any pregnancy test shows positive results.)

vacation destination: we haven't been on a vacation (new orleans was our last) since our first anniversary (let's not count the family gathering to disney world in 2006 where i had an almost mental breakdown); so, i really am not equipped to answer this question, since one might need to have money and an overnight babysitter to obtain such a dream.

movie: 16 candles - because i love "jake ryan," and like to scream his name whenever i see my friend's five year old child - though no one seems to understand why i do so. man, jake ryan was HOTTT!!!

say anything - "She gave me a pen. I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen."
is one of the best lines of all time.

valley girl, silence of the lambs, donnie darko, the departed - oh, my god, i can't  choose just one!

musician? anything - dave grohl - hence, i'm going to see "the foo's" next week and my life will be complete after such adventure. (have i mentioned that everlong WILL be played at my funeral?)

9. I heard an interviewer on the radio ask this question of K.T. Tunstall once and it struck me as so completely bizarre, yet funny.  I'm going to ask the same thing of you: If you had to hide an elephant, where would you hide it?

first, where the hell did this elephant come from and why do i have to hide it? is it something i purchased in hopes my husband didn't notice it's existence? maybe in a huge dumpster bin behind a crappy chinese restaurant? that is, if i could somehow lift it into the big dumpster.

otherwise, i really hope to never have to deal with this situation since dumbo made me cry - because of his mother and dumbo was pretty freakin' cute.


10. Total Nonsense: Are you more rock, paper or scissors?

a pair of scissors. my mother would attest,  even at a tender young age, i would leave little pieces of paper scattered in a trail of my wake.

Comments

[Angella]

This was great - answered some questions that I had about you :)

[Neil]

Now of course, we all want to know about your husband's family. Good job, Jill!

(I also always wondered about Gorillabuns, but was afraid to ask)

[sizzle]

Dumbo made me cry too. I named my childhood cat after him. And you know what? You're famous to me! ;)

(Also, you didn't mortify me silly girl! It was a great interview that I willingly participated in. From one recovering Catholic to another, shut up about it. Hee hee.)

Love you more than my luggage!

[180/360]

I have olfactory superpowers, too!!! I'm so jealous you get to see Foo Fighters this week. And, I think it is time for you to go on a vacation. Viva Las Vegas! Neil should give you a free trip for your great interview with Sizzle. Isn't that the new rage- blog gifting?? ;)

[Jill - GlossyVeneer]

I had so much fun reading your answers! Thank you for indulging me (and Neil!).

180/360's right, come to Vegas and we'll all hit the town.

[Karen]

BRAVO!
That was fun.

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